As Time Goes By

"Dear Mr. Beebe, I doubt we shall go any further than Athens"

2011-03-06T16:03:00.000-08:00

A delightful letter from the Miss Alans.
They're going to Greece. I'll read you some.
"Dear Mr. Beebe, I doubt we shall go
any further than Athens...."

~A Room With A View

Well, as I always say, my life is
full of surprises as time goes by.
The surprise in this blog post is that I'M
GOING TO ATHENS, GREECE!!

I'm going this fall semester, and staying there for simply months!
And I'll be studying music! I'll be a music student in Europe,
at a conservatory! The Philippos Nakos Conservatory!

I've always been a romantic, and have always loved
the movie "A Room With A View" because it's about
a girl who goes abroad to Florence, and it's simply
divine! Also near the end she is thinking of going
to Athens as well, so the fact that I'm GOING TO ATHENS
makes this super squeeful!!!

Of course there are downsides, like not seeing my family
or my fiancee for a whole semester....that will be hard
on all of us, and I know everyone will be really jealous
about this...but still, I'm going to remain optimistic.
It's Greece. I will miss them, but they will be there when
I get back, and I'll get to spend the rest of my life with Tim. <3>

My Smallville Debut!

2011-02-11T23:59:00.000-08:00

My career as an actress is now complete. I made it into Smallville, my favorite tv show!
Last Christmas Eve I got a call from cwtv saying that I was a finalist in their "Believe in Heroes" contest. I had entered it a few weeks earlier, thinking there was NO WAY my video would be chosen. But it was!! They faxed me a contract, I filled it out and sent it back, and that was the last I heard until this week. I was told I wouldn't know if I was on the episode unless I actually watched it myself. Sooo I did. And my video came up as part of the montage that Chloe and Lois show Clark. I officially became part of the "Beacon of Hope Fanclub"

This means so much to me. How many fans get to be in an episode of their favorite series? This is Smallville's last season, and it was so amazing that we fans got to be a part of it. I remember watching Smallville old school with some cast members that aren't on the show anymore...for a while this season there was only Clark who had been there since season 1, and everyone else was MIA (although I adore Oliver Queen/Green Arrow). But this episode had Chloe in it. It had Martha Kent. And it had Lionel Luthor. I can show people my Smallville episode and see four amazing actors who were there from the beginning.

And Smallville isn't just a normal tv drama either--it's part of the Superman franchise. And it's the part that a lot of young adults and teenagers have grown up watching. It's so surreal to see Clark Kent watching my video supporting him, and hearing him say "I can't believe they'd risk coming out and defending me..."

It's a small part in the series, but I'm so grateful to have been able to play it, and help Clark Kent on his journey to becoming the Superman we all know and love.

Throwback to December 2009

2010-09-13T18:53:00.000-07:00

Me on French tv in the Limoges Sister Cities Orchestra back in December 2009. :)

Découvrez L'ensemble symphonique international Cités Unies en concert sur Culturebox !

The 2nd Annual ChildightUSA Teen Conference (part 3)

2010-06-16T19:17:00.000-07:00

Political Sci-Fi Discussion: Chris Keene on "The Twilight Zone" and the Bill of Rights

I couldn't say what we expected when we filed into Gardner-Webb's theater auditorium. A projector was set up, with a big screen hanging down by the stage. Chris sat us down and started to talk about a Twilight Zone episode called “The Obsolete Man”, where an all-powerful “State” labeled persons not contributing to society as “obsolete” and ordered for their immediate extermination. Chris turned off the lights and showed us the episode on the big screen. It was a larger-than-life experience. The concept behind the episode, the way it was shot, the memorable moments: it really made me think.

The story focused on an old librarian who could not contribute to society because books had been made illegal. The State didn't want its people getting ideas not specifically dictated by the State, so they had banned all books. They had even banned the bible because the State's doctrine had 'proved' that no creator existed, so to own a bible was a criminal offense. The librarian went before the chancellor of the State, and was declared Obsolete. He was told that he had to choose his method of execution within 48 hours. The librarian argued that people who weren't contributing to society were still people, and that no person was obsolete. That God created all in his own image. It was fruitless, and he was made to choose his execution. He ended up inviting the chancellor to his house before the execution to talk. Then the chancellor realized the terrible truth. The librarian had locked the door, there were no guards about, and a bomb had been planted in the room, set to go off in an hour. A camera had been set up to televise the librarian's execution, and the chancellor was caught on camera asking the librarian to “let [him] go, in God's name!”. The librarian finally took pity at this last plea, and unlocked the door. The chancellor was able to get out of the building before the bomb went off, but at a price.

When he arrived at the council chamber, the State had reviewed the footage of their chancellor showing weakness and misrepresenting the State. Further, he had blasphemed against the state by asking a request in God's name, and acknowledging the creator's existence. He in his turn was declared Obsolete, and the film ended as the council closed in around the former chancellor, now doomed to death.

This opened a discussion among Chris Keene and the teens about an all-controlling government. How many of us actually used the government programs that we are taxed to keep funding? How much power does the government have now compared to when it was founded? How much power do the individual states have? How much freedom do we individuals have? Chris pulled up the Bill of Rights and went through it with us.

Amendment I

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.

This is the amendment that is constantly stifled by our society today. By rights we should be able to exercise our religion freely. But the government is getting away with prohibiting the free exercise of praying. We aren't allowed to pray aloud in the public school system. Why is this? Do they consider it infringing on the rights of others? Does telling us that we cannot pray aloud in certain government places infringe on our freedom of speech? It certainly seems to. And what about not being allowed to bring bibles into schools? Why is it that the Kharan and the book of Morman are allowed in public schools, yet the Bible, which is the basis for Christianity and Judaism, is not? Recently, a cartoon aired that poked fun at Mohammad, and it was promptly labeled as too offensive, and taken off the air. Yet the same channel is set to air a series that pokes fun at Jesus. Being a Christian in a culture where Christianity is labeled as 'unaccepting', 'discriminatory', and 'intolerant' is very hard. The message I come into contact with everywhere is “FREEDOM OF RELIGION!!!.....for everyone except the Christians. They don't count.” This sounds like discrimination and intolerance towards one religion, and affirmative action for the others. Sanctioning the Kharan and banning the bible is rather much. I could say a whole lot more about this, but for the sake of the growing length of my narration and at the risk of drawing political and religious trolls to my poor innocent blog, I'll move on to the next amendment that we discussed.

Amendment II

A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.

Every American citizen has the right to bear arms. In fact, the founding fathers encouraged it. This topic is what really made me think. Chris brought up the question, why in the world would ANY form of government put the right to bear arms in their constitution? The idea is that in other governments, the king is the law and everyone with weapons works for him. That way, no one will be able to have a successful revolt even if they do disagree. But America wanted their people to have the latest guns in their households and for every able-bodied man to be able to use them. Why? To defend themselves against the British, obviously, but there was another point that was brought up. Would it be far-fetched to suggest that our founding fathers wanted American citizens to have guns so that if the government ever infringed on Americans' freedoms, they could have a successful revolution and fight for their inalienable rights? If the American Government ever became, after years and years, the very thing that it initially fought against, then the people would have a chance to fight it again, thus ensuring the survival of freedom . If the American Government ever started taxing the heart and soul out of its people, if it ever quartered soldiers in their households, if it ever became guilty of the crimes of George III and the British Government of the past, then Americans would have a fighting chance to take arms against their oppressors and fight back.

And yet, what is the overall message that the government and society is sending to its citizens today? That guns are an evil, and that the only way to ensure peace is to only make it acceptable and easy for police officers to carry them. If an ordinary citizen wanted to own a gun, they would have to go through a good amount of paperwork first. And even then, do the guns that are issued to anyman and everyman the latest model? Who is in control of the most modern and dangerous firearms? The government. And who will be the only ones to gain access to that technology if there was ever a revolt? Again, the soldiers of the government. Ordinary citizens would not stand a chance if their government became corrupt. They would be helpless in the face of an all-controlling federal government. That thought really spoke to me. Before I was faced with this possiblity, I was very much against guns. I consider myself a moderate, and guns were one of the issues that I sided more liberally with. I saw guns as a danger to society and was afraid of what would happen if everyone had one. But now, I'm afraid of what would happen if no one had them except officers of the law.

I don't really see myself becoming a revolutionary if something were to happen in the future because of my bad experience reliving the French Revolution of the 1840s over and over again when I performed Les Miserables. I died every night at the barricades. Lesson learned: never involve yourself with poor passionate students with delusions of ZOMGSHFREEDOM!!!VIVALAREVOLUTION!!THEPEOPLEHAVESPOKEN!!!! in their heads. For you will die. Die at the hands of your own government at a lonely barricade. I feel very unpatriotic in general with resigning myself to this lesson, for the people should not starve and be oppressed by the very government who should be taking care of them. If a revolution ever did come up in my lifetime, I'd sure be conflicted. Hopefully that will never happen.

Amendment IV

The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, and no Warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by Oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized.

Amendment VI

In all criminal prosecutions, the accused shall enjoy the right to a speedy and public trial, by an impartial jury of the State and district wherein the crime shall have been committed, which district shall have been previously ascertained by law, and to be informed of the nature and cause of the accusation; to be confronted with the witnesses against him; to have compulsory process for obtaining witnesses in his favor, and to have the Assistance of Counsel for his defense.

Ever since the terrorist attacks in 2001, Americans falsely accused of terrorism have had their rights violated constantly concerning Amendment IV and VI. The government searched many American households, some without a warrant. They imprisoned many, and a lot of people did not get a speedy trial, much less a public one.

Amendment VII

In Suits at common law, where the value in controversy shall exceed twenty dollars, the right of trial by jury shall be preserved, and no fact tried by a jury, shall be otherwise re-examined in any Court of the United States, than according to the rules of the common law.

Here we discussed how jury duty comes around very seldom for Americans. And when it does, it is very easy to get out of appearing in court. A woman I know was excused from jury duty simply because she was a violist. Apparently the court didn't value the opinion of a musician. Chris Keene told us that getting out of jury duty is only a matter of going to your employer and having them sign a paper saying that you have to work for them, and can't skip out of work to appear in court. If very few people asked to be on a jury actually appear on one, how many Americans are really getting a trial with a full jury? It does not bode well....

Amendment VIII

Excessive bail shall not be required, nor excessive fines imposed, nor cruel and unusual punishments inflicted.

Um....??? One word: Waterboarding. Nuff said. But I still wonder what goes on behind closed doors in the White House, the Pentagon, and other government buildings. I can only pray they uphold the rights of American people as specified in the Bill of Rights. But after discussing how the Bill of Rights is already being disregarded by the current government (both the current and former administration), I am truly beginning to fear for my country. I hope that things will never get worse than this, and that we can overcome whatever misinterpretations of the Constitution exist in America today.

Those abovelisted Amendments were the ones we talked about the most, though as I recall Chris Keene had something to say about each of the first ten Amendments, as well as inform us that Facebook was created by former agents of the FBI, and our private information could be pulled by the government at any time. I have yet to check his sources, but I sincerely hope they are inaccurate. Even if they aren't, I think the federal government doesn't necessarily need facebook to track people down...

Well, glad I could share such a cheery subject. The discussion was fascinating, even though it threw my security in my private life and inalienable rights in the wastebasket.

After leaving the theater, it was time for the biggest event of the Teen Conference; one I enjoy preparing and planning for every year: the Teen Conference's annual Regency Ball. I will share the details of this wonderful phenomenon in the next installment of the 2nd Annual ChildightUSA Teen Conference!

The 2nd Annual ChildightUSA Teen Conference (part 2)

2010-06-14T20:02:00.000-07:00

It is generous to trust, to trust freely, to trust our tradespeople and our servants, our friends and neighbors, those in authority over us and those subordinate to us. ~Charlotte Mason, "Ourselves" (p. 107)

It had been only a day since all the teens had arrived and settled to begin the ChildlightUSA Teen Conference. we had arrived Wednesday evening, and it was now early Thursday morning. Tim and I disturbed the whole apartment at 8:30 with our vocalizing and swooping to prepare our voices for leading matins in 15 minutes. We went to the auditorium and met Jack, who had learned the chords to our song very quickly the previous night. Tim read a prayer, and we sang a duet entitled "The Prayer" (Andrea Boccelli, anyone? No? Josh Groban and Charlotte Church then?). After that, we congregated with the other teens by the apartments to walk over to the "Broyhill Adventure Course". I didn't really know what to expect. A rock wall? Rope climbing? What I definitely didn't expect was the amount of bonding that took place when we arrived. When I first walked up I saw Scotlyn, whom I had met before once, but hadn't seen in a year. We clicked again just like that, just like I had with Tim, Brittani, Kaley, and the other friends I'd met at past conferences.

We first gave our names and told embarrassing story about ourselves. I'll....just skip that part. Then, we all walked to the edge of a ring of mulch beneath the climbing tower, turned away from it, and tossed one marble over our shoulders. They all landed in different areas of the mulch, and we had to find a way to pick all of them up without touching the mulch. We climbed on a rope ladder, swung on a rope in the middle, and got all the marbles one by one, everyone helping one person get theirs. We used our strengths to help each other, and didn't all work by ourselves to get our own marble. That surprised the instructor. He said he had never seen any group do that before. I wonder how much of that was due to our unique education and upbringing? Maybe since we were all so used to doing things together with our families, and trusting our parents and siblings, we were more used to doing things as a unit and not plowing through life by ourselves like someone estranged from their family at a public school. Maybe our familiarity with being around teens of different ages (our group age range was 11 to 19) instead of being segregated into freshman, seniors, etc, enabled us to function as a group.

This was more evident in the next challenge, which was to swing on a rope to where 5 hula-hoops sat on the grass. We had to fit all 8 teens into the 5 hula-hoops. We decided to have the two tallest and strongest teens go first and aim for the two farthest hoops. Once they did that, they were able to catch the rope and help the smaller teens into the other hoops. Once again, we were helping each other.

Next, we carried a ball in the center of a small ring. And connected to that ring were 12 strings. Each teen held one or two strings, and we all lifted it up together. We had to pass through two trees close together, step on trunks on the ground, and get on platforms without touching the mulch....and we could only drop the ball 3 times. Needless to say, we ended up dropping it 5 times, but the experience was worth it. We had to watch the ball, see when someone was holding one end too high and another end too low, see who was carrying the main strings and who could go slack for a while, and much more. We all practiced the habit of attention, and worked together again.

Then it was time to climb. Climb the huge tower made of logs, ropes, footholds, and planks. We were taught how to 'belay' (hold the rope for someone while they were climbing). We learned to trust each other, and know that if we fell, the person holding the rope at the other end was locking the rope and holding it tight...and they would catch us. After going through and overcoming so many challenges together, we all felt so close-knit. Even more so than before. We were a team. My only regret is that some of the teens were unable to attend because they were scheduled to teach breakout sessions in that time slot, so we didn't get as close to them. Everyone who participated in the Broyhill Adventure Course became close friends, a team, and almost like family. We learned a deep lesson in trust and teamwork.

After nearly 3 hours of physical exertion, we all headed back to the cafeteria for a hearty meal before our next event: a sci-fi political discussion with Theater Dept. Instructor Chris Keene, an event that crossed the Twilight Zone with fascism, communism, and American politics. We didn't know what to expect when we walked through the door into the theater, but if we took away nothing else from our highly intellectual and enlightening discussion with Chris Keene, we learned to expect the unexpected. I'll explain with as much detail as I can muster in part 3 of the Childlight USA Teen Conference!

The 2nd Annual ChildightUSA Teen Conference (part 1)

2010-06-14T19:58:00.000-07:00

Education as a lifestyle. Loving to learn. The study of ideas rather than information. Building a relationship with your teachers and subjects. The habit of attention, processing time, living books, and narration. This is the jargon of a Charlotte Mason education, and it's been on my mind recently. Last week I attended the 2nd annual ChildlightUSA Teen Conference. This conference stems from the ChildlightUSA Charlotte Mason Education conference that has been running for 6 years now, and the teen conference has events that are intertwined with the original "adult" conference.

When I explained to my friends that I couldn't hang out because I was co-leading an education conference for teens, you can imagine what sort of initial impression that made. I could hear it in their heads: "An education conference? Boy, you really ARE a nerd!" But for them to really understand what goes on at the CLUSA Teen Con, they would have to read my blog.

Which is lucky for you, since you've stumbled upon it.

Wednesday: After registering and checking in to the campus apartments at Gardner-Webb University, a group of teens filtered into Conference Room 250. This is always the start. The awkward meal together at the long table in those red spinny-armchairs before the plenary session (where we sit for a long opening in a cold auditorium). No wait, it gets more exciting, I promise. When a show of hands were asked for the attendees of the teen conference, 12 hands came up in the dark. I couldn't believe what Tim, Brittani, and I had started! Reality set in when we all went to the fireside lounge for the "CM High School and College chat", where about 30 eager teachers and moms had gathered to ask us questions about our education. What would we have done differently? How did we handle math and science? Were our fathers involved in our education? Were our families closer than those of public schooled students? Did we have enough socialization? How do you balance your CM upbringing into the SAT agenda? We answered all of these questions and more. Everyone had something to say, even our youngest member of the group, who was 11 years old. It was a surreal experience. Educators asking kids how to teach? And us actually feeling knowledgeable and able to answer what they wanted? This is part of treating kids like people, not as inferiors who are mindless compared to their instructor. It was a huge hit, and we had many people come up to us within the course of the conference and thank us for all the help we provided in that chat.

After the 'adults' all left, the teens stayed and met each other. We handed out schedules and exchanged phone numbers. We explained each activity on the list: a ropes course, a sci-fi discussion, a regency ball, Shakespeare scenes, and a coffeehouse chat with Jack Beckman on how to apply our CM method of education in college. We then each retired to our own apartments...well, besides me, Tim, Jack, Jacob, and Jared...we played card games and had popcorn together. Within the dozen teens attending the conference, the core group of us always stayed together from about 9 in the morning till 4 hours past midnight. This was because a lot of us had met at the previous conference, and there's something special about meeting other teens your own age who have the same interests and read all the same books you did, even the long boring one in 4th grade that was way too hard for you and you abhorred. Yes, they read that one too and are just as scarred for life as you are.

Over the course of 6 years I've formed so many deep friendships at the conference. I remember the first year I came, my sister and I met 3 girls who had come with their moms. We all 5 stuck together like glue the entire time. Even though I haven't seen any of those girls in years, I still remember them, and will never forget them.

Another year, I met a wonderful girl named Kelly. We talked together about all sorts of things, and when we left, we exchanged addresses and became pen pals. I still have a box on my dresser full of letters from Kelly, and a drawer full of pictures that she sent me. We don't send letters anymore, but I check in on her on facebook from time to time, and she'll always remain one of my closest friends.

The year I'll always remember is the one year that among all the homeschool moms that came to attend my mom's breakout session on composer study, there was one young man sitting in the back. He sat there the entire time with his head craned slightly upward in contemplation, watching me sing and cry over Pavarotti and basically make a genuine fool of myself like I do every year. After the session was over and my mom and I had cleaned up, I went outside and saw him walking with a girl down the sidewalk.
"There are some teens from Ambleside Online," my mom said, "Why don't you go over and say hi?"
There was nothing I wanted more than to turn around and let them pass. I hated meeting people, and was totally disinterested in meeting anyone my age, especially some teens from completely different states that I'd never see again anyway. Why go through the trouble?

I'll tell you why. Because that boy's name was Tim Laurio, and if my mom hadn't dragged me over to him and forced an introduction, I'm pretty sure my future kids wouldn't exist. I mean, they don't exist right now, but if my kid was Marty Mcfly from Back to the Future and he went back to the time his parents met and prevented us from meeting, he'd disappear.

Ugh. Let's start over. What I'm trying to do is point out that I'm not engaged to Tim yet, but unless someone kills me or kidnaps me or something else horrific happens, I will be. We are COURTING, and we plan on getting engaged, but we're NOT currently. And with that disclaimer, I just wanted to say that if I hadn't been dragged across Tim's path (literally) I would never have met my future husband. Or my best friend. For so Brittani proved to become. If there was one moment in my life that I'll always remember, it's that moment of my future husband AND my future best friend walking side by side within my site, and me almost missing them completely.

Wow. freaky thought. So close to not meeting them....I actually decided I was NOT going to go over there, and if my mom hadn't made me... I shudder to think of it. Well thankfully I did meet them, and it was that day that we three founded Ambleside Online: Unlimited. AOU is a group of the 1st generation of CM educated teens who graduated doing the Ambleside Online curriculum, and who want to network and pursue our method of education as a lifestyle into college and beyond.

We three also founded the ChildlightUSA Teen Conference that day. What that conference became this last week I will relate to you in several following blog posts. There's just so much to tell, and I haven't done an extensive narration in a long time. Just from reading this post you can probably tell I'm very passionate about it...even though all I've really told you is that we sat in a conference room and in a cold auditorium and then told teachers how to teach us in the fireside lounge. And that somehow we all became really good friends. I bet you're confused. Well...you'll just have to read the next blog post with the ropes course and the 2nd Annual ChildightUSA Regency Ball in it to enlighten yourself.

Avatar: Civil War

2010-03-24T17:02:00.000-07:00

So I stayed up late last night writing.....Avatar fanfiction. Yup. 2 and a half pages. And it was a kataang (shipping terms: Katara+Aang) scene. It's funny how my fanfic started out with Zutara (Zuko+Katara) and Taang (Toph+Aang) pairings as the planned end result, but I made the mistake of making Avatar Aang the main character. He wasn't supposed to be, he just ended up having the story told more from his perspective than from Zuko's. That will be just fine for later on in the book, but for right now it means I have to address Aang's love for Katara and his feelings when he starts suspecting she and Zuko are more than just friends. Also ended up having a scene where Toph was upset about Sokka loving Suki instead of her. Gosh canon, stay out of my fic! But I guess I have to resolve all of that before I can add my own take to the universe.

So I basically sat writing material for the opposing ship at 4 in the morning. Strange. But I got some good material out of it.
This amazing pairing to the left is my OTP (shipping jargon: one true pairing) Zuko, Crowned Prince of the Fire Nation, and Katara, the uh...waterbending peasant from the South Pole. Fire and Water, (or 'liquidy-hotness' is the running joke).

My story starts 5 years after the Avatar series ends. Firelord Zuko is trying to undo the damage his father did in the Earth Kingdom by giving up the cities that had been taken over by the Fire Nation, but his efforts have started a growing threat of civil war within his country by those who supported his father (including his former love interest, knife-wielding Mai.) As a result, he is restricted from setting foot outside his ivory tower....er...palace.

Avatar Aang decides to take a short break from rebuilding his lost civilization, and visits his old friends. Zuko is shut up in his palace and rather lonely, Toph is the belle of Ba Sing Sei by day and by night, the resident champion in an underground earthbending ring. She resides with Sokka and Suki , who are trying to keep the city from falling apart while searching for the Earth King. Sokka's sister Katara is teaching waterbending at the South Pole, and leading a simple life with her father and grandparents.

While Aang is visiting Katara (his childhood sweetheart), she receives a letter from Zuko that reveals important information about the last airbenders, and that there may still be airbenders living in the Fire Nation. Katara and Aang set out for the Fire Nation together to investigate...

That's as far as I've written, but I have the basic storyline planned out.

SPOILERRZ!!!
They get there and find an underground movement led by Mai to dethrone Zuko, get rid of the Fire Nation citizens with Air Nomad blood in them, and end the reign of Avatar Aang. When Aang gets captured, Katara and Zuko must defend the palace by themselves as it undergoes a full blown siege. Zuko doubts he has enough loyal fighters on his side to simultaneously defend the palace, put down the rebellion and save Aang. So Toph, Sokka, and Suki come by and help with the fight. They lead an assault against the rebellion's headquarters, and Toph escapes with Aang. He is injured and Toph does her best for him, but she sadly notes that she is rough and rugged, while Katara the healer is tender and soothing. Katara would have been able to help Aang more, but Aang realizes that he would rather have Toph there, at the end of it all.

*shrug* I might kill him, I don't know. He'll come back to life as a waterbender anyway.

Anyway, back at the palace Zuko and Katara fall in love. Actually, they've been falling in love this whole story. There's a final battle and the rebellion is put down for good, and everyone's happy. Unless I kill Aang, lol!

I need to put in more moments throughout this whole political storyline for the characters to actually fall for each other, but I'm happy with the basic synopsis. Heh heh, enough to blog about it, apparantly.

Also, I might free Zuko's sister, Princess Azula, the crazy lightning-wielding insane villain might be fun. I need a real threat. Sorry Mai, you and your knives and rebellion aren't enough to take down the Avatar. :P

Shoujo Cosette

2010-03-22T18:55:00.000-07:00

For years the book Les Misérables has been unprecedented in its iconic form, no adaptation coming close to the intricate plotlines, subplots, and dozens of characters that the book contains. There have been numerous films, audio presentations, and even the smash-hit musical, and each takes what they can out of the zillions of amazing moments and characters the book has to offer. But until 2007 no adaptation has ever 'lived up to the book'.

A few months ago I discovered the existance of "Shoujo Cosette", a recent animé series based on Les Miserables. It is 52 episodes long, and is so amazingly specific that even the costume descriptions in the book have been transferred to the screen. I was absolutely in tears when Eponine made her appearance wearing a chemise and a skirt, her hair tied back with a piece of string while another string was around her waist. This was exactly the costume pieces described in the book when Marius first meets her. I couldn't believe how many detailed subplots they included. In the episode where Marius was first introduced, it not only included his Grandfather and Aunt as characters, but it also explained the entire situation between his father and grandfather, showed him meeting Mabeuf, showed the letter where Baron Pontmercy entrusts Marius with the mission of finding Thenardier (who rescued him once) and in the very FIRST episode it showed Thenardier painting the sign at the inn depicting him rescuing Baron Pontmercy.

I could not believe I had finally found something that lived up to the book in every possible respect: minor characters, often left-out situations, specific details (such as the time and place of events and amounts of money), backstories, and costumes. Not only that, but they found time to include many extra scenes that weren't in the book, but explored character relationships and added to the heart of the story.

Little Cosette after her mother has just left
for Montreuil-Sur-Maire, with little Éponine and
Azelma Thénardier.

The first 22 episodes of this animé can be found at Veoh.com with english subtitles. Sadly there is no English dubbed version of all the episodes yet. I might just put together a cast and do it all myself so more people can experience this precious gem. Book purists will be leaping for joy. I certainly was. It was amazing to see the story of Les Misérables brought to life in stunning animation with beautiful backgrounds and detailed character design. Jean Valjean and the silver candlesticks.

Éponine is held in Marius's arms in a
tearjerking Barricade scene.

Inspector Javert!

Tumnus/Lucy sig dump!

2010-03-03T08:35:00.000-08:00

I am a shipper by nature. Not a slasher. There is a difference. I don't ship same-gender or sibling couples, not even for crack pairings. But besides that, I have at least one couple in every movie or book that I root for. Sometimes they really do end up together (Han/Leia, Star Wars) sometimes they really...don't (Maid Marian/Guy of Gisborne, BBC Robin Hood), but the joy of sitting in front of the tv with popcorn squeeing over romantic moments is well worth it.

I bring all this up to defend myself against the somewhat odd couple I support in the Narnia fandom. Queen Lucy/Tumnus. Now before your book-purist brain goes biserk, let me make some disclaimers. I mean Queen Lucy when she is quite grown up, not sweet little baby Lucy. And I'm going by the theory that fauns age slower than humans. And that inter-creatural romance is possible via MN's line about King Frank's sons marrying dryads and water nymphs.

So anyway, now that I've disclaimed stuff, I'm ready to dump my sigs. Why here? Because Deviantart hates .GIF files and narniaweb file sizes are horrendously small.

I've noticed a general lack of Tumnus/Lucy signatures and avatars, so I put together some. I think the last one specifically turned out rather well. Much better than my 90s "adobe photodeluxe" program usually allows.

I've been in a Narnia mood ever since my LWW show ended. It was a sad day: two of the four Pevensie kids were crying, and we all made promises to get together and re-enact Prince Caspian, have all-you-can-eat pancakes, and have pool parties among other things. I remember starting out with the cast and not knowing hardly anyone. It didn't seem like a family at all, but it took a huge sugar high giggling soda party with the Pevensies to change that. I hope we can all remain true to our promise to get together and have reunions.

I'm not grieving much about it. I didn't cry or get sentimental, since I fully plan on seeing the cast again. But I will miss Narnia. It will always be inside me somewhere, and perhaps I will find Narnia again on some other stage. After all, once a queen in Narnia, always a queen. Well, Polly wasn't necessarily a queen. But it still applies. And I'm sure once you're a White Stag in Narnia, you're always a White Stag deep down, but that's yet to be proven.

Off to Narnia Again

2010-02-15T13:41:00.001-08:00

Rehearsals for The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe are picking up, and I have a lot to do on and offstage. I have a huge quickchange from Mrs. McCready into the White Stag that takes about 30 seconds to a minute. I've heard that there's going to be a snow machine used on Mr. Tumnus and myself! It's beginning to feel like Narnia again! I think they're using the Aslan head that Children's Theater did for The Magician's Nephew! Last time I went to Narnia I was Polly. Now I'm Mrs. McCready (who I remember thinking might have been a grown up Polly when I was little and before I read The Last Battle, tho they are so different I don't know what I was thinking), and The White Stag, the very spirit and essence of Narnia.

Seeing familiar sites like the lamp post, wardrobe, and stone table are bringing wonderful memories from my childhood and from my last visit to Narnia onstage. It's like coming home again. Narnia is wrapped around me and inside of me in a way I can't even explain. Phrases like "daughter of eve", "always winter never christmas,", "turkish delight", "once a King or Queen of Narnia, always a King or Queen" are not only familiar and memorable and iconic, but there's something even more. Something that stirs something or other inside of me and awakens the deep, golden goodness...the Lion's Mane...the reality of it all...and brings tears to my eyes. I've never been able to explain it, and perhaps I never will. But I'm glad it's there all the same.

There are many stories in the world that I enjoy and even obsess over now and again. But Narnia is so much more than that: it's something special. The only other story that comes remotely close is Peter Pan, but it still never compares. I'm going to love sharing Narnia with my children, like I shared it with the kids watching me as Polly in The Magician's Nephew. And I am looking forward to bringing a part of Narnia to every child in that audience next weekend!

Accepted!

2010-02-02T15:25:00.000-08:00

A few days ago I was told that I had been accepted to Berklee College of Music in Boston! It was a pretty big deal because it's a big name in the music industry, and it's a school people have actually heard of. My classmates at community college are amazed (haha!) and excited! My dad told me today that his friends at work are all congratulating him (he works in TV, and his colleagues have heard of Berklee) and my mom wants to throw me a party. It's still strange to think about and a little surreal. Only 14% of all applicants worldwide get accepted to Berklee! And in the voice category competition is reeeally high!

Even with all the hype I'm still worrying over things. I'll be all alone up there (and it will be COLD and I hate COLD!) and I won't get to be with my sister during her crucial year. And I'll be very very very far away from my dear one. I mean we already have a long-distance relationship, but currently we can visit at least once a month. I don't know how long we'd go without seeing each other. Well I guess 4 months max. Hm that isn't that bad. We've gone 2 months without seeing each other before. It's not as bad as my friend who has to wait 6 months for her fiancée to go through navy training halfway across the country before they can marry. 4 months isn't that bad. Plus there's fall break and spring break. What would that be? Would that make it 2 or 3 months instead of 4? This isn't as terrible as I previously supposed.

But wow a lot of things will change. Besides being away from my family and friends and my dearest loved one, my whole family dynamic will change with me gone. I feel like I'll sort of be replaced by Bumblebee. I have weird visions of my room being taken over and turned into BBs room. I like my room!! I'll have to take most of it with me.

Music will become my life (and I know Music IS Life, but still) that will be a bit of a change from my current status of reading, acting, and lazing around. But I've shown myself a hard worker before, and will roll up my sleeves and do so again. Now I'll have a chance at really do what I love and not being a starving artist. If I work hard and do my best, I might be able to go to Yale's music department for graduate school like many other Berklee students. I'm getting ahead of myself, but hey, it could happen. It will be exciting to see what Boston has to offer concerning opera and such too.

It's weird how life turns out. My sister was supposed to be the one to get into a good school with a full scholarship and her brainiac mind, and I was just going to get into a regular school with my mediocre SAT score and make it through with a half-decent degree. Now my sister has stopped school altogether and, circumstances being as they are, she has no real opportunity or desire to continue. Thats hard for my parents. So I'm glad that I got into such an amazing school! They are so proud of me, and it helps the loss they feel over their other daughter throwing away a college education. I'll take full advantage of the blessing I've received, and I hope to make them 'proud of their [girl]', to quote an unsung ditty of Disney's Aladdin. That song really strikes a chord, cause I feel I've sort of never lived up to my parents' academic dreams, and haven't worked as hard on my violin or schoolwork as I could have. It's not like I've felt like a failure, but since I'll be going to a 4 year university at 20 instead of 17, it just feels like "I've wasted time, I've wasted me, so say I'm slow for my age, a late bloomer: ok, I agree." as the song says. But now things have turned around for the better, and I have a chance to be something special.

That is, if the world doesn't end in 2012. :P

The name and tagline for my blog fit so well with the posts and what's been happening to me this past year. Life's full of surprises as time goes by!

I got...family/I got...frie-eends/I got...my love

2010-01-27T13:22:00.000-08:00

Sooo after obtaining special permission to audition and then freaking out over whether I'd actually get cast or not, plus drama with my little brother and his hightailing it out of the audition room for fear of scrutiny for the amazing voice he keeps under lock and key, then an agonizing week of not knowing if I'd made it in, I FINALLY made it into a production of Les Miserables, my all time 2nd favorite musical in the world. Actually it might be my 1st. Don't tell the Phantom, he might murder me for that remark.

My role? "Prostitute 1/Townswoman 1" so not only do I get to sing the oh so appropriate "Lovely Ladies" number, but the annoying less rollicking carbon copy of it known as "Turning". Good news is I DO get to sing "Do You Hear the People Sing" and "Master of the House", as well as my fav "One Day More", where I alone of the whole chorus hits a high C at the end (apparently none of the other girls can do it and our Jean Valjean lacks the range). So the only thing that's annoying is not being able to sing "At The End of the Day." Maybe i'll get to sing it from the wings? Unlikely, but you never know.

The sad thing is I didn't land a lead cause I'm not in "The Company", because I thought it ended at 12th grade. Of course then at the audition I'm told that company actually extends to age 19. My precise age. So I could have joined and played Cosette. Arrg "what ifs" really upset me sometimes. I'm sure there must be a reason why I couldn't be in company...there's always a good reason when I don't get what I want.

But still, to be in a production of Les Mis...I've been dreaming of that since I was 13. I knew all the chorus parts already cause I had memorized the chorus parts at a young age. Ahh I remember when I first saw Les Mis VHS concert version at my aunts house when I was 10 years old. Or 8. I don't know. But wow, I never knew I'd ever sing it!

My dreams tend to come true a lot. It's cool. *sings like Gene Kelly* I got...my playskool dollhouse, I got...to visit France, I got...my poodle puppy, who could ask for anything more? I got...cast in Les Mis, I got...to play in CSYO, I got...my amazing Austen hero sweeping me off my feet buddy love of my life shining armor WONDERGLORIBEAUTIOUS imzadi melinwë, who could ask for anything more? I got...to sing in operas, I got...to visit Narnia, I got...to finish my book who could ask for anything mooooree?! Oh also my Fluppy Dogs VHS tape and my Lullaby playlist of all sorts of peaceful songs I loved when I was little.

All right, now that I've gotten myself into an upbeat mood...hmm...pasta? *gasp* before Les Mis? Meh. Why not? Why, dear? The high C of course? Oh what are the chances we're doing that song again? *grumble grumble be ye warned...* I WANT MY PASTA NOOOOAAAWWWW!!! Ok, sheesh. :P

The Events of Last Night's Imaginings

2010-01-27T06:54:00.000-08:00

This is a drabble for a later scene in the current book I'm writing. I rather liked how it turned out. It really made the imagined heavenly world a bit more realized.
____________________________________________________
"Avion! Avvi wait! Whatever you've heard about me, whatever they've told you, it isn't true!"
"You bargained with the Deceiver! You betrayed us all!"
"No, let me explain! Whatever they've told you about Miradelle and I, it's all just rumors. The two of us aren't--"
"You lie, Amrado!" Avion fired back, "The stench of the legion is upon you!"
She tried to brush past him, but Amrado caught her by the arm.
"Please, listen to me," he cried, "I am a Watcher: I am incapable of falsehood! I couldn't tell a lie even if I wanted to. I was forced into a bargain for Tiren's life--you know Tiren, don't you? He's a good man, he's fostering your children as we speak! He was doomed to eternal torment, and I couldn't let him suffer! Please understand, I didn't mean for things to go so wrong! I was inexperienced, I know, and the Deceiver walked circles around me. He bound me to an oath that if I didn't obey his three commands, he'd claim me as his own, and take Tiren too! I had to obey!"
"I cannot listen to this!"
"Please try! Because of my actions, King Deveron's mind became poisoned and under the Legion's control, and I realized that if Miradelle stayed by his side, she would surely die. I took her to the ship and pointed it in a safe direction. All I was trying to do was help her! The embrace that was witnessed by so many was merely a natural goodbye! I was trying to save her!"
"Then you have failed." Avion said quietly, staring past him.
Amrado turned, and beheld Miradelle standing hesitantly at the garden gate.
"Miradelle!" he gasped.
He started toward her, and she looked at him. She appeared younger than he remembered...like she had the day the two of them had first met.
"Ams," she said faintly, "what is this place?"
Amrado took her hands in his own.
"It is heaven, Mira. This is my cottage. How did you come to such a place as this? Where is your Usher?"
"I did not leave her alone," came a voice, and Amrado recognized the towering figure of Caelidux. He emerged behind Miradelle, and Amrado addressed him coldly.
"She is scared and confused. Why have you lead her here instead of to her own home? Where is her soulmate? Why haven't you taken her to meet Yhvh?"
Caelidux stared at Amrado apathetically.
"Her soulmate has not yet arrived. The girl ran, and I pursued her here. You are right in sensing her fear and confusion. That will go away when the Guardian gets a chance to talk with her."
A change had come over Miradelle as she heard the name that she had never learned to pronounce. Her heart recognized it though her head did not, and a feeling of warmth and security overcame her.
"Who is this Yah...I mean Yiv...er..." she ventured with difficulty.
"You will meet him very soon," Caelidux replied in a softened tone, "in the meantime, I must take you to the place that has been prepared for you and your soulmate. Come with me."
Miradelle suddenly tensed.
"What about Amrado?" she responded sharply.
"Filierro has his own home and soulmate to attend to," Caelidux returned.
"But...but that's impossible! I've never loved anybody but Amrado!"
"Perhaps it is more truthful to say you have never met anyone whom you love as you loved him. You never will. The bond between soulmates is a much stronger sort of love than the love found on earth, and you will find deeper fulfillment in it."
Miradelle gripped Amrado's hands tightly, and looked absolutely petrified.
"I don't understand, Ams," she trembled, "Please don't let him take me away."
"Let me explain, Mira," Amrado said gently, "I know this is hard for you to comprehend. We will never lose the love we have for each other, but being earthly lovers here is like being brother and sister, or father and daughter. We shall be the best of friends there ever were, but you will be given someone else whom your heart will remember immediately. And even if you've never met him before, it will be as if you've known him your whole life. He will complete you in every possible way, and you will love him more than anyone in the world...except Abba-leh, of course."
Amrado embraced his mortal love tenderly.
"There is so much to learn here, and so much to explain. I will always be here to counsel you and talk with you. If you even need me, I will be right here in this cottage. I'm told it's quite close to yours. But first," he said, a shadow passing over him, "I may have to go away for awhile. I'm not sure when I'll be back. But when I return, aside from my own soulmate, you will be the very next person I visit. I promise."
He kissed her forehead, and Miradelle embraced him one last time before departing.
"Goodbye!" she whispered.
"Goodbye," he returned, "and may Yhvh be with you."
Caelidux put a hand on her shoulder, and she followed him down the path, and out of sight.
Avion sat on the bench near the door, swinging her feet thoughtfully. She had been doing so for the whole of Miradelle's visit. Amrado turned back to his own house and sat down beside Avion.
"Avvi...I don't know what will be done with me," he said in a low voice, "they might send me back to the Mortal Realm. Perhaps forever. Or worse...to the Underworld."
"That's nonsensical," Avion shrugged, "you're a Watcher. You have Yhvh's protection."
"I don't know...things didn't look very promising at the trial." he murmured.
Avion put her hand onto his, and gave it a light squeeze.
"Everything will be all right, M'rado," she said with a quiver, more to reassure herself than to encourage him, "He wouldn't send you away."
"Do you forgive me, Avion? I've made many mistakes--too many for a Watcher--but do you forgive me?"
"Yes," she replied softly, "I do."
The two of them said nothing for a few minutes. Presently, they heard the sound of footsteps approaching, and three members of the Hosts entered through the gate. Two were angels he had never seen before. At their head was Commander Preliator, looking very grim. He walked with a determined, lofty air. If Amrado hadn't known better of an angel, he thought Preliator looked extremely angry, and was trying very hard to hide it.
Avion's hold on Amrado's hand tightened, and she drew a sharp breath.
"They're here to take you away, aren't they?" she whispered.
Amrado made no reply. He stood before his late commander, awaiting his words.
"The case has been decided," Preliator said in a voice that cut the air like a knife, "You will come with us. Our Guardian wishes to pass final judgment."
Amrado glanced at Avion. She was clenching her fists and staring straight ahead, determined not to make eye contact with any of the angels.
"Since you seem to take so much of an interest in my fate," Amrado answered slowly, "would you mind telling me what it is?"
Preliator was as steadfast as a rock, and just as expressive.
"That information is privileged, and will be given to you by the Guardian. I am to tell you to come willingly. But truthfully, you have caused so much disorder in the Heavenly Realm that I would be happy to drag you away by your wings and have done with you. It however, remains your choice."
"Am I to be exiled?" Amrado asked quietly.
"Perhaps." Preliator returned, his eyes brimming with hidden amusement.
Amrado was silent for a moment.
"May I say goodbye to my soulmate first?" he finally said.
Preliator nodded.
"It is best that you do so," he replied, "you will not be seeing her for a very long time."
At this affirmation of her fears, Avion sprang from the bench and ran into Amrado's arms.
"My Amrado!" she exclaimed, "Please, let me go with him! Whatever he endures let me endure beside him, but don't separate us! Please have mercy!"
Preliator remained unmoved, but the angels behind him shifted uncomfortably.
"What he does he must do alone," Preliator returned, "You cannot go with him. And your determination to stand by him despite the abominations he's committed is highly inadvisable. I've never understood the necessity of soulmates myself. Personally it seems to encourage an uncontrolled mortal love that if unchecked is sure to come between you lost souls and the father who created you. Take comfort in the unprecedented love of your "Abba-leh", good lady, and think on this traitor no more."
Avion shot Preliator a look of utter contempt. Her brow furrowed, and her eyes blazed. Preliator was shaken, and took a step back, unaccustomed to such an expression in the Overworld.
"Shut your beak, you messenger bird," she cried, "Your disgust for love just shows your weakness and envy! You can never love a soul! Despite your devotion to your Guardian, you can never be called his child as we are, and you hate us for it!"
"I cannot hate." he said in a low voice.
"I don't believe it for an instant," Avion continued, "you angels are capable of hate, weakness, and jealousy as much as mortals are. If you weren't, how were some of you swayed into the Legion at the beginning of time?"
Preliator tensed his jaw.
"The Legion were deceived. Since then we have become unable to hate as we are incapable of love. But we are not devoid of emotion. I cannot feel your envy or jealousy, as you call it, for those are planted by the Deceiver. What I do feel is an unhappy, insatiable yearning for the closeness you share with the Guardian, and the familiar names you call Him. I quiet those emotions by serving Him to the best of my ability, and trying my best to please him."
Preliator's eyes snapped toward Amrado's, and the hurt behind them was gone in an instant.
"My situation is irrelevant at the present moment," he continued, "Angelus Filierro must be brought to justice. The Guardian is waiting."
Avion clung to Amrado desperately.
"Don't go, Amrado," she whispered.
"What would you have me do?" he replied brokenly, "defy Yhvh as well?"
Their last kiss was cut short, for Preliator lost patience at last and ordered Amrado to be dragged away. As he was forced from his love, Amrado took her hand.
"I'll come back, Avion, don't worry! Wait for me!"
And as he was taken up the path to the Great Halls, he gave a sharp cry of pain and numbly reached for his throbbing eyes.
Preliator looked round, and his face turned deathly pale.
"Tears?" he exclaimed, "Tears in the Overworld? What devilry is this? You pollute these stones with suffering!"
Saying thus, he quickened his step, determined to be rid of Amrado as soon as possible. All who looked upon him in passing trembled in fear for him who had been thus corrupted by the Deceiver that he was able to suffer in paradise.

Last Year's Books

2010-01-05T21:36:00.000-08:00

One of the things I'd like to do this semester is write more. More poetry: enough to fill a book. That would be nice. I'm going to write some poems about different things in The Magician's Nephew to put in a collaborative life-story of Polly and Digory that I'm writing with my courtier. I'm planning poems about these subjects roughly:

The Magic Rings
Fledge the Flying Horse
The Toffee Tree
The Wood Between the Worlds
Totterbee's Ticklespray
In the Lion's Paws

maybe more, maybe less. We'll see.

I really want to finish my reading list by the end of the year too. Looking back on the books I read last year, I'm rather pleased at the intake of literature. Not a very long list, and it has a lot of modern pleasure reading on it, but there were books I had 'been meaning' to read that I actually got around to finishing, which was nice. In no particular order, the books I read last year....

Jane Eyre
The Hunchback of Notre Dame
Rakkety Tam
The Four Loves
The Kingdom Keepers II
Infinite Crisis
The Matters at Mansfield
Space Race
The Scarlet Pimpernel
The Taming of the Shrew
Bambi's Children
Edgar Allen Poe short stories

Out of these, I remember these particularly were impossible to put down: "Bambi's Children" (because of my obsession with Disney and the Bambi fandom in general, specifically loving the amount of adventure the book had and the incredible legend Bambi became), "The Kingdom Keepers II" (again, the Disney obsession), "The Scarlet Pimpernel" (romance, intrigue, mystery, adventure, and humor! This book was amazing!), and "The Matters at Mansfield" (well, I basically loved that one cause everyone yelled at Henry Crawford, then he got murdered, then he came back to life and got amnesia, then he got murdered again. If only the same thing would happen to John Thorpe...).

My ADD self has problems settling down to read books, and I'm hoping it gets better this year. Basically my theory is that the time I usually have for reading before bed is now spent on the computer, writing blog posts like this and messing around on facebook. But I can do that in the daytime, not at night. *sigh* I'll fix this schedule eventually...

Milk Ingestation

2010-01-04T23:51:00.000-08:00

So tonight I was having a midnight snack and was planning on having some hot chocolate. To...er...help me sleep. Anyway, I was getting the milk out and warming it up, then I decided to give it a taste. I have a weird habit of drinking some milk before I put anything in it (for example, before dipping grahm crackers in it or pouring hot chocolate mix into it). I took a sip, swished it around a bit, and swallowed. It tasted very nice. Warm...a little sweet...creamy...and then it hit me.

Milk is SUPPOSED to be warm! The only reason it isn't normally ingested at its regular temperature is because it has to be cold to keep it from rotting, and we humans are too lazy to heat it up when we want a drink!

But why? Don't we ever feel little memories arising in our innermost subconscious thoughts of a time when all we ever wanted was a bottle of warm milk? When all the world was new and us new in it we were content with merely a drink of sweet warm milk. I kid you not, it tastes different from cold milk. It was fresh, warm, and tender to our new little taste buds, and provided a sense of security. The same security we now receive when we snuggle in a blanket with a cup of hot chocolate in hand. It was instilled in us from an early age, and stems from the days when we were held close by our mothers, wrapped in a small blanket, and given some warm, sweet, creamy milk to drink.

Why don't we drink it warm anymore? Have we the feeling that we are now older, and have outgrown such a temperature? Does it feel wrong to us to drink it warm because we are reminded that milk comes from inside living mammals, and we'd rather think of it as the cold, insensitive liquid we use for our cereal, cookies, grahm crackers, and hot chocolate?

Try it warm, I challenge you. It's more organic, more earthy, and more real. It's what it's supposed to be.

2010 Resolutions

2010-01-03T22:30:00.000-08:00

All right, here are my resolutions. Which usually end up being more like wishes or hopes for the new year.

1. to continue to grow and strengthen my relationship with the love of my life.

2.To have an even better year than 2009 (if that's even possible haha!)

3. Sing a principle role in SOME sort of production? (lol the last time playing a lead was one of my resolutions It actually ended up happening. So here's hoping...)

3.Finding a good college would be nice...making it into Berklee would be even nicer.

4. I'd really like to publish the book I finished last year.

5. And learn to ride a horse.

6. And continue dancing ballet. I really enjoy it, and though I could never make it a professional career, it gives me a lot of joy, and it would be nice to be a triple threat for once.

7. Figure out how exactly I'm related to Edgar Allan Poe again? And other genealogy questions.

8. Have a very healthy social life with 5 to 10 really good friends. I've started too many conversations with "I haven't seen you in forever" and ended with "We need to hang out more". I want to keep up with people, even if they live far away I'd like to at least be able to send an email or letter very often. In an age where nearly everyone has a facebook and when emails and instant messaging makes communicating so easy, it's amazing that it's still so easy to fall away from people.

9. READING LIST

I'm writing this down. An actual list. To keep to. No excuses. :P

The Figaro Trilogy
Howard's End (finish)
The Tenant of Wildfell Hall (finish)
Swallowdale
David Copperfield (finish! Gosh...)
Waverley
The Brothers Karamazov
A Room With a View
High Rhulain (finish...)
Eulalia
The Book of Three
Left Behind
Nightmare Academy
C.S. Lewis's Space Trilogy
Beowulf
Idylls of the King (I really don't remember reading this...)
Dombey and Son
Pickwick Papers
Goethe's Faust
Mac--er...that scottish play...*wink*
Howl's Moving Castle
Infinite Crisis on Infinite Earths
North by Northanger
Tom Jones (finish)
20,000 Leagues Under the Sea

There, that's 25 books: plays, british lit, fantasy, sci-fi, comedy, graphic novel, parody fiction, mystery, and verse... now lets see how many I can finish.

10. Writing list: The Watcher, Starborn, a book of poetry, Renaissance Faire

11. Keep on with piano. I stopped and now I'm slipping.

12. Be a kind, helpful, cheerful, and loving aunt to little Bumblebee.

Well that's it I guess. A lot of stuff, but I'm looking forward to seeing these resolutions come true!

A New Year! (goodbye single digits sniff)

2010-01-03T21:26:00.000-08:00

Everyone else is writing New Year posts. So I thought I'd write one too. Being a nonconformist and all. :D

So, looking back on last year, I realized that it was actually a very wonderful year. One of the most wonderful years of my life, and possibly THE best year of my life (and that's saying a lot, cause year 14 and years 4, 8, and 10 were pretty amazing years. This is interesting because I remember it started horribly. The whole period of January to May was pretty nasty, and I got into a bad rut, lost some friends, became a social recluse. I have the long Lj post and angsty diary entries to prove it. But I kept on feeling like it was going to get better. Maybe it's my innocent childlike faith that automatically assumes things that are bad will get better, but I really did keep praying that everything would be ok, and looking forward to the day when it would.

My family was struggling with the recession, I had a graduation party that only 3 friends showed up to, and I was battling depression, but then something happened. The school year ended...and suddenly a lot of my friends started hanging out with me at once. I had a full two weeks when I was doing something fun every day, and in hanging out with my friends, I was able to let go of other friends who had let me down. I didn't need them anymore, and I became happier.

To top everything off, I fell head-over-heels in love that summer. I had a reason to smile and laugh and enjoy my life. I watched other members of my family struggle with financial and emotional burdens, but I was happy. I mean don't get me wrong, I still cried when something bad happened, but I wasn't depressed anymore. I got jipped out of college that semester, but that left time for me to do things I'd always wanted to do, like finish my first novel, sew my own Katara costume, make my own scrapbook, work at the renaissance festival, and take a trip to France. On business, no less! I had a concert to play in Limoges, and it was attended by the mayor and we were even encored! France is awesome, by the way. Their food makes our food feel like replicator rations. Hey look, here's me in front of Notre-Dame. Ha, made u jealous! :P

Ooh, and at the very end of the year, I had an amazing Christmas. I got what I'd always wanted since I was 8 years old: my pink Playskool Dollhouse! My sister and I had gotten one for Christmas when I was 4 years old, and I loved that dollhouse to the point of an unhealthy obsession. All my little figurines lived in that dollhouse, and since it was screwed together tightly and made of plastic, I created wonderful play environments by turning the house sideways, and upside-down. Have you ever looked up at the ceiling of your house and wondered what it would look like upside-down, and even wish for gravity to randomly change? When I imagined my dollhouse in my head, it was always upside-down, and it became a Robin Hood castle full of pink peril and death, with the sloping rafters of the attic becoming the deadly dungeon floor. Robin Hood had braved that castle a hundred times over, and on Christmas day 2009 he braved it again.

You may wonder how I ever parted with my dollhouse if I loved it even more than my own house? Well, the mother asked us if we would like to play with the dollhouse in the backyard, and then it rained, and then bugs and dirt got into it, and then our parents moved the dollhouse to the garage, and then suddenly it wasn't there anymore, and we found out they had donated it to goodwill. I forgave them, but then they donated the next 2 dollhouses I got to the same place. I was very upset naturally, but eventually had to excuse them and get used to the fact that my parents had the small problem of not realizing that the affection their girls showered on their dolls, stuffed animals, and little figurines could also be given to such a glorious friend as a playskool dollhouse.

The years went by, and I saw that my dollhouse was retired, along with the original My Little Ponies, Hideaway Hollow playsets, and Itsy Bitsy Pals of the 80s and 90s. I tried to console myself to the fact that I had lost the dollhouse, and would never have one like it ever again. I never stopped wishing for one though. In Christmas 2008 all I wanted for Christmas was the dollhouse (well, and a piano) but I couldn't bring myself to ask my parents. I was thinking of asking Father Christmas for one as a sort of fleece for if he was real or not, but I couldn't figure out how to contact him if he existed, because all his letters got intercepted by the postal service and thrown away. I still haven't figured out a good way of communication...

Needless to say, I didn't get it in 2008, and was out of sorts the entire Christmas day. My thoughts were split between that and trying to figure out who on earth was on our roof clattering about early that morning, and who was ringing those jingling bells...(By the way, I heard a sound like an anvil rolling across our roof last Christmas (2009), and I think noises on the roof 2 Christmases in a row is too sketchy to be a coincidence) Anyway, moving on...

Christmas 2009 I did actually joke around to my sister when she asked me what I wanted for Christmas that I wanted the dollhouse back, and she told my parents. But apparently they had already bought it by then, and Christmas morning there it was under the tree! I gave the hunk of plastic a huge hug, and though my other presents were awesome too, I really would have been satisfied with just the dollhouse.

New Year's Eve activities including ice skating (and NOT falling down YAAAY!!!), planning the life story of Polly and Digory in the form of an epic long novel the size of Les Miserables with my amazing courtier, sharing a spagetti dish Lady-and-the-Tramp style (also with my courtier...well who am I kidding all of these new years activities were with him, haha!), scaling a cliff with sharp rocks at the bottom without a harness (probably shouldn't have done that), and watching a murder mystery play where my own brother turned out to be the killer (didn't see that coming!)

Well, this post is long and I haven't even gotten to my resolutions yet...I'd better save that for tomorrow. The point of this post is 2009 was awesome, my dollhouse is AMAZING, I had a good new year, and stay tuned!

Starborn, The Watcher, and more

2009-12-16T13:26:00.000-08:00

This semester has been one of creativity and artistry for me. More book concepts have been born or called back from the depths of my soul, begging to be written. One such entity is "Starborn", a romance between the charming gentlemanlike alien Alleron Eviand'r, and the eccentric redheaded girl Joanna Curry. When the Vallyrian spaceman misses his daily pigment doses, he reverts to his normal color, which is, as you can see from the lovely Deviantart image on the left, bright green.

The concept can't help but remind me of Twilight, but since I've never read the books hopefully the plotline will become completely different. I won't underestimate the power that preteen girls possess deep inside them to be able to obsess over vampires, elves, and my recent addition to their chaotic fangirling madness: hot green aliens. With this in mind it's sure to be a hit. Come on girls, you can't say if you saw this picture above on the cover of a book next to the vampire and werewolf novels you wouldn't be the least bit interested in Alleron's story?

The other story that's been floating around in my head for six years is The Brightleaf Chronicles. Originally planned as a series of six books, I've recently decided to combine books 2 and 3 into one thick epic entitled "The Watcher". The story is about the Watcher Amrado Brightleaf who makes a deal with the Lord of the Underworld to save his friend from eternal torment. The results that follow are catastrophic: murder, war, genocide, and the ascension of darkness to the throne. In the center of the madness are Amrado's twin children, his best friend the young faerie captain, and the woman Amrado loved, now Queen of Albor. I've sculpted these characters in the previous book, and they are dear and familiar to me. I can't wait to visit them again, even if it is to cause pain to some of them. However, their story must be told, and I am proud to be the one to pen their tale. Above: young Captain Tiren of the Faerie Army

There is another story that has been buried for a very long time in the depths of my heart and soul. A faraway land of a child's invention, where Treegabees abound in the forest, and Pigapines are as plentiful as King Ostringo's many singing children: Ostrio, Ostringilo, Ostringila, Ostringandila, Ostringala, Ostringandilo, Ostringi, Ostringa, Ostringaling, Ostringalingaling, and Ostringalingalingaling.

And Treega and Treego the two treegabees
Flew away home with the evening breeze

Left: Jerrimee the Shrederilian Rainbow Bunny

For years my head was filled with rainbow comets, rapping Rabadas and tree-abiding Treegabees, not to mention Rockasocks and the multi-colored sunglass-wearing toe-tapping Flamingo/Ostrich hybrids that ruled this zany world. The universe itself was filled with such planets as Smileoo, Moobadoo, Ooky-Booky, Ishkabibble, Kulamoo, and the fabled Planet Shrederel itself!

Sound like something from a Sid and Marty Kroft series? Perhaps. But it was the story of my childhood, and my sister's too. And now that we can both write, maybe we can take this Seuss-esque world and make it real for anyone who dreams of a wondrous world beyond our own galaxy.

There are many more stories beyond this that float around in my head and are drabbled down here and there, and I can't wait to share them with the world someday!

In the meantime, I'm settling down for a comfortable Christmas with my family, and with my dear Tim, who is infinitely better than all the Jane Austen heroes combined. I got back from France 5 days ago, and had a marvelous time. I'm still rehearsing for Pirates of Penzance, and had my audition for Berklee school of music on December 1st. I feel so alive in this season. I'm not enrolled in school, which can be tiresome because I don't want to finish college after Tim and everyone else. But I have gone abroad to the French countryside, and have tasted the food. I've played a concert that was attended by the city mayor, and was encored. I've smelled the crisp air of Paris and beheld Notre-Dame. In these past few months alone I've performed in the Renaissance festival, beheld Leonardos, tread on Aquitane, auditioned for Berklee, and it makes me feel accomplished. If I lived in the time of Elizabeth Bennet I might be poor without a dowry and tainted with the dishonor of my sister's escapades, but at least I can play and sing, speak Italian and some French, and can sew, write, sketch and paint like any accomplished young lady should, plus having the added bonus of world travel. I might not do all of those things very well, and not be the best at mathematics, but I'd like to think taking the semester off did me a wealth of good, if not simply for creating Alleron Eviand'r, and the Incredible Edible Mountain of Moo!

I dreamed a dream of alien symbiotes....

2009-11-16T13:30:00.001-08:00

So last night after staying up till 4 watching Jane Austen movies, I went to sleep and had two veeery long dreams that didn't involve Jane Austen at all. Which would have been slightly disappointing, but my dreams involved a lot of adventure. First I randomly got kidnapped but for some reason I still had my ipod touch. So I emailed someone from Renfest the address of the kidnapper's house. Then they showed up with Mabel from Penzance and the concertmaster of my old youth orchestra to identify me and bust the people. Haha :P maybe it was cause there was a documentary on TV that day about JC and her kidnappers.

After that whole storyline played out, a new one started that was probably influenced by those tv spots for the Planet 51 movie. New plotline? Well...it's still a bit hazy, but basically my love turned out to be an alien and we went to visit his planet and everyone was green (but for some reason I don't think he was...well maybe he was just disguised as a human) then we went back to Earth and I was explaining to my mom how it would work out cause his people look like humans only green. Then he had to leave to go to his planet in a hurry...and for some reason there was a galactic storm or astroid field that he was going to run into and I had to save him! But how? I mean he had already taken off in his ship and I was stranded on Earth...powerless to save him in a million years except I did through the power of comic book space continuity.

My mom turned out to be quite knowledgeable on alien symbiotes, and in a short amount of time I learned that if I opened my Spider-man 3 DVD and released the venom-like symbiotic life form while laying down on the grass outside....then the symbiote would bond to me, uncloak its ship, and use its alien memories to launch the ship and control it through me. Because all alien symbiotes of that species will return to space if they bond with a host in time to do so? Anyway, during the bonding sequence, I suddenly woke up to my sister talking about a duck for sale on craigslist, and got rather upset since I couldn't finish my dream.

But then--oh rapture--I fell asleep again and the bonding sequence started over again! This time, I succeeded in becoming the host to the alien symbiote! It made me look like I had a yellow cobra on my head. And my skin was weird. But anyway, apparently the symbiote had no intention of returning to space and really wanted to sightsee on Earth. Which was annoying, because I was in a very big hurry to save the love of my life from colliding with a moving astroid belt, and saving my dreams of leading earth to embark on a planetary alliance.

Needless to say, I still retained some control of the tourist-symbiote, and also an unscientific amount of control over the Earth's gravitational pull. Though the ship was still cloaked and rather small, I got into it and jumped very high so I could fly off. And I would have too, except I awoke. But I am certain I would have succeeded in saving my alien love with my symbiotic powers and we would have lived happily ever after, either on Earth or his planet of green people. It was probably Planet Orion, cause that's where the green slave girls in Star Trek come from.

Well now I have the benefit of knowing alien romances are waaaay better than this Twilight stuff and would most likely be very well-received in the hormonal teenage girl community, if written with the right amount of soap opera drama and teen angst.

And sorry I can't give you back the 5 minutes of your life that you spent reading this blog post. Have a nice day!

life handed me weirdness

2009-11-11T17:49:00.000-08:00

Sometimes life is strange. And events ensue that don't seem to be real. Like you're told something that is hard to believe cause there is no immediate evidence before your eyes to support it. My home has been full of drama lately, and my parents are stressed about a number of things like money, the housing market, my college education, and my sister. Just....a lot of stuff about my sister. And what's upsetting is that when she does things with lasting repercussions I'm not allowed to tell anyone about it. So I'm left to rant in innuendo on my blog...

But yeah, I feel like i'm gonna wake up tomorrow and everything will be back to normal. Whatever "normal" is. I've been the 'good' daughter all my teen years, but I was never the 'smart' one. I was never expected to be the one to get into a freakishly good college or get a masters or ph d and earn a bunch of money. I thought my sister would do that. But now i'm not so sure. I was supposed to be the poor singer barely scraping it by. For my parents' sake, i'm gonna try harder. Not necessarily change my planned major or career path, but work hard in school and get a science or political science degree as well. I don't want to be caught with no way to care for myself or my family if something unexpected happens that ups the financial strain. Just a thought.

Peace out, and pray for us please!

Suddenly I Feel Like a Singer

2009-11-06T10:47:00.000-08:00

I work hard at my voice lessons and listen very carefully to my teacher the voice guru because I really really want to sing the best I can. I'm still sort of in-denial that my voice is any good, maybe because i'm my own worst critic. But it feels nice to sing some of 'Suil a Ruin' for Anuna and have them joke about competition. Or to sing 'Part of Your World' and have people think it's a recording of Jodi Benson. Thats the best flattery i've ever had, cause my whole life i've wanted to be able to sing like Jodi Benson....heh heh....

But recently i've felt my voice getting more polished, and opportunities are opening up because of that. Last voice lesson, my teacher (also the director of Pirates of Penzance) asked me to sub for their lead soprano in the educational outreach shows (where the lead singers perform select scenes and arias in public schools). Considering their soprano and all the other principles are graduate students and i'm just 19 years old, I feel really honored that the opera director would choose me (especially with the knowledge that their soprano didn't even know if she would be available for ANY of the outreach performance dates.) There was at least one soprano that was better than me that they could have chosen. In an artsy city like where I live, there are plenty of sopranos that could have been called in too. This is the closest thing to a role i've ever had, and i'm still kind of stunned that i'm suddenly grouped in with the better singers.

Also, I was asked to sing Guilietta's part of the Bacarolle for another student's voice recital. She's an alto playing a principle in the opera as well. That's another vote of confidence (plus I LOVE that duet). And besides all this, I was told that next year they're doing Hansel Und Gretel, and (without any promises being made and not knowing where my education would take me) that Gretel would be the perfect role for me. She said it would be a good idea for me to start looking at that role anyway because it would be good to learn it for the future, considering how well my voice fit with the character.

This weekend i'm singing "The Prayer" (a la Josh Groban and Charlotte Church) with a tenor at Renfest, so it feels like I have a bunch of songs and gigs lined up (even if they don't pay). And learning a bunch of arias and songs suddenly makes me feel like a singer.

So i'm very happy, and don't want it to sound like i'm bragging because i'm pretty insecure about my voice in general. This is new for me to be offered gigs and feel good about my voice. If someone insults my violin playing, that's not as bad cause it's a separate instrument. But my voice is a part of me. Someone insults someone else's voice, it's like they're insulting them too. I'm allowed to insult my own voice though cause it's my opinion of me and...hmm this is confusing.

Point being, I feel like a singer and that was why. Hurray for incorrect comma usage throughout this post. Now to eat and have wassail and maybe watch A Christmas Carol later. Teehee I love that story....

Things i've accomplished thus far

2009-10-30T11:29:00.000-07:00

Well, tis nearing the end of October, so I thought i'd review the list of random things I wanted to do this semester and see what i've accomplished so far. :)

1. Finish or make progress on my novel: I'd say i'm now about 3-ish chapters away from finishing, so yaaaaay that makes me happy. I'll hopefully finish mid-november.

2. Start making those avatar cosplaying costumes: I made my Katara costume. If the movie premiered tonight, i'd just have to cut up a pair of socks and my gloves and i'd be all set. :)

3. Help my mom make a Book of the Centuries: Well I started that, and our printer is lame and hard to work with. I wrote out some drafts though.

4. Start Scrapbooking: YES I did that a few days ago, and it's going very well so far. It could turn into an addiction if I had an everlasting supply of pictures...

5. Get my driver's license: see, I was gonna do that. Then my mom told me she couldn't afford to ad me to the insurance, which really stinks. Then she complains about driving me around and i get confused...

6. Repad my flute and learn to play it: I did have a little flute lesson with my friend and played the Blue Danube Walz, so even though I didn't repad my own flute, it is indeed progress in that area...

7. continue painting: hm, havent done that in a while cause I forgot I put it on the list.

8. Read at least one Dickens novel: Um i'm sort of a good way into David Copperfield...

9. Sing in Pirates of Penzance and take Voice Lessons: Okay, i'm DEFINITELY doing that, so we're all good.Though I have to blow my own money on it.

10. Write 10 Sonnets: I've written 7 so far!

11. Play violin at renfest and earn money for trip to france: Well i'm playing at renfest and got an award for it but i'm not allowed hat privileges through an error of the festival but its okay cause they're going to compensate me anyway. I don't know how much, but I hope its enough.

12. Refreshing my memory on basic subjects so I feel like i'm learning something: well i've been doing physics and history and helping my bros with their school, so yeah I feel like i'm learning things. I went to the Co-op's curriculum meeting yesterday and gave my input and felt quite grown-up and educating ppl teehee!
___________________________

So that's what i've accomplished so far out of what I planned to do, now lets see what I managed to do along the way...

A. Created two websites.

B. Made an IMDB page and resume for myself.

C. Put together a "lullaby playlist" of my favorite childhood soft songs to go to sleep to. THAT i've been wanting to do since I was very young (of course then I wanted to make a "mix tape", haha) and if I can't be lulled to sleep by the amazing voices of Michael Crawford, Jodi Benson, Michael Ball, and Julie Andrews singing my favorite lullabies like "Hushabye Mountain", "Feed the Birds", "Far Longer than Forever", and "If We Hold On Together", then I need to stop drinking soda at night.

D. recorded about 6 new songs including my own version of "Isle of Dreams" from spykids 2. Haha I love that song...

E. FINALLY got the music from Disney's "Dinosaur" (i've wanted it since 2000!)

F. Dyed my hair with blonde highlights in a "Rogue X-men" style.

G. Spied on random celebrities using Twitter.

H. Got several professional photos taken of me at the Renfest and found them online. Now YOU can find them on DeviantArt, haha!

J. Oh, and I was in the Washington Post too! I'm told it was front page, but I didn't see it so idk.
____________________________

So that's it so far of my random doings and whatnot. I'm gonna be an extra in a movie filming next week, and i'm getting my music for France on the 9th. Hm, if I didnt laze about all day i'd say I was pretty busy...

status quo <--hey look its latin :D

2009-10-26T12:29:00.000-07:00

Haven't written in a while, so i'll do some quick status quo updates:

Well Renfest is in full swing, i'm probably 3 chapters away from finishing The Brightleaf Chronicles book one, I'm gonna be an extra in an indie film that's shooting in a few weeks, and also might get a part in an episode of Think It Thru.

We're a few opera rehearsals away from blocking in Pirates of Penzance. I still need to earn money to go to France AND pay for my voice lessons. Which all together is $1400, and I have 400 of it so far. Maybe i'll just write shameless pleading fundraising letters to people.

My application to UNCG is complete, and I hope I get in!

In a few days my courtier and I will celebrate our 4 month anniversary! Course we'll be in two different states...*tear* it will be awesome anyway.

And check out the awesome picture taken by a random photographer at faire! Pretty spiffy. There's about 4 more he took too!

A Day at the RenFest!

2009-10-04T16:31:00.000-07:00

Today was the dress rehearsal for the Carolina Renaissance Festival. It started out as usual, with a frantic rush to find shoes. Still need to get a pair...I grabbed a substitute, and headed for my transportation. The only way to get from one side of Charlotte to the other in time involved a sort of magic reserved specifically for maidens in distress. Such as myself.

So once I hitched a ride with my fairy godmother (as well as borrowing a skirt), I made it to the ball *cough* I mean festival, thirty minutes before cast call. Before I headed to the front gate to welcome the king and queen, I first greeted my friends Heidi Haydn (a rebellious runaway bride) and the high Princess Grace (who had to scurry away quickly to join with the royal procession in time.) I passed by the living statue, and tipped my hat. He gave a friendly wave before assuming his natural form again.

The Lord Mayor welcomed everyone to the village, and we watched the Hon. Sheriff of Nottingham get doused in scummy water by the right scurvy wench Ninevah.
Then the royal court entered the village, and I set about meeting my closest neighbors in the village.

First there's Ratspittle, who comes off as a slightly insane cutpurse type who speaks in a lizard-like voice and rubs his hands together, pushing up his round spectacles every now and again and drinking out of a tube that connects to his throat. I didn't ask. He's not the one who will steal your purse, however. That would be Percy, the mute fool. He's curious and likes to steal hats and bags. But he's really quite harmless, and just needs a bit of direction. He wears a jingly hat and likes to juggle. At first I didn't think we'd get along, but then he started following me around and I reached behind me and poked him with my fiddle bow. After that, I knew we'd be good friends.

There's also the Town Crier, who always comes about with ridiculous messages and pieces of news about the state of the Lord Mayor's socks and whether or not the sky is blue. The person to ask about the sky or nature in general would be Spook, the Autumn Spirit. I think he's related to the ghost of Christmas Present, for he started out looking like a normal man, but as time goes on he starts to get more fur and leaves around him, and by the end of the festival i'm sure he'll end up looking like a wispy, leafie fox. Then i'll have to protect him from Count Vladimir, along with Lady Beatrice the unicorn.

Ah yes, our unicorn is quite unique, for she's not entirely in unicorn form. She's used her horn's magic to cloak her in the shape of a human with a silver horn on her head, and she's taking lessons to become a lady of the court and blend in with the other humans. Once she's successful, she plans on becoming a human permanently, and thus evading Count Vladimir and Countess Baptista (who i'm quite sure are planning on cutting off her horn and eating her for supper.)

Though i'm protecting the unicorn from the count's clutches, the count himself isn't so bad. He does talk in a Romanian accent and has a strange taste for blood and impaling people with large knitting needles, but other than that he's a pretty nice man. His wife, the Countess Baptista, is equally amiable. Besides having a very keen sense of smell and wearing an interesting collar around her neck. I've heard the Count say that once a full moon she gets a bit wolfish...all in all a very happy couple.

Oh yes, then there's the beggar. I caught him recently trying to pick up a leaf with his toes. He's the scum of the earth and smells like it too, but he has quite an extensive vocabulary if he chooses to employ it. I just don't sit close to him during the joust.

As a simple street violinist, I feel easily like the 'straight actor' in this motley crew. I play the soundtrack, and keep the vampire and werewolf from killing the unicorn. And keep Percy the mute jester in line. Ratspittle helps with that, but he gets so distracted whenever something shiny passes by.

We all went to the joust together, and then joined the village in pirate shanties. Of course, since i'm the minstrel, I didn't have to sing any of the many verses. I did manage to successfully plug my ears while holding a violin and bow, just in time for the cannon to fire.

After the festivities ended, I went out with my fairy godmother to sup with the wizard, the alchemist, the unicorn, the gravedigger, Sir Lance of Dashingham, and the Prince of Ireland.
After an interesting discussion about our heritage and turning lead to gold, and whether or not Sir Lance should stay in the royal procession or venture out to save damsels in distress, I had a very satisfying meal, and heard our hearty lady Alchemist would soon wed the wizard. I'm sure his magic will come quite in handy when turning her lead into gold...

I wasn't as distracted by the bragging Irish prince sitting next to me as I was by the young couple in a nearby booth. It reminded me of another Italian restaurant I went to once with a very handsome prince of my own...perhaps with my fairy godmother's help I can summon him to my side someday soon.

When I had heard all the lofty Irish prince had to say about the many maidens who were heartsick for him and how very young he appeared and how handsome everyone assured him he was, I got quite bored and began yawning into my handkerchief while the other ladies complimented him. My fairy godmother whisked me away home soon afterwards, amid stares from the strangely-clad Americans in the restaurant.

All in all a very full day, but almost as if I woke up this morning, then fell back asleep and had a very long, strange dream until I awoke an hour ago. Yet until I shed my medieval garb, part of the magic still remains.

I have a feeling i'll have the same dream about 14 times before November ends.

Disney Fandoms Part II: The Lion King

2009-09-30T11:50:00.000-07:00

I'm here to inform you about one of the most expansive and complex fandoms in the disney world: The Lion King. This movie is a fandom all in itself, but the universe incorporates several other movies and books. Namely, The Lion King, The Lion King: Simba's Pride, and The Lion King 1 and 1/2, plus the canonized book series "The Lion King: 6 New Adventures" , and the broadway musical "The Lion King".

To tell you all the useless knowledge i've accumulated about the production, filming, flubs, and characters would be a little inconvenient to both my time schedule and yours, so I will focus on only the characters and plot of the fandom.

PARADOX 1: WHO'S HER DADDY?
First off, our story starts in the African Savannah with the birth of Prince Simba. Before long we meet his best friend/fiance Nala. Now, the complications arise within the first 15 minutes of the movie. We now have 2 lion cubs in the same pride, and in real life when a male lion becomes leader of the pride, he fathers all of the cubs (and even kills the ones who are already born that aren't his.) So technically speaking, King Mufasa would be Nala's father as well, though her mother Sarafina isn't the alpha female.

Besides the initial humane shudder at incest, there is something else very wrong with this situation. Mainly, that when Uncle Scar ascends the throne, he doesn't kill Nala and father his own cubs. He leaves her alive. This implies that she is Scar's daughter. The ONLY way this works is if there was initially some confusion between Scar and Mufasa as to which one of them was Nala's real father, and they both left her alive just in case.

This is somewhat validated by the directors of the film in a press conference held 10 years after The Lion King's premiere. Someone asked them "Who is Nala's father?" and after a joke about it being one of the directors, they got more serious and deliberated amongst themselves. Finally, they announced "Either Scar or Mufasa."

This can imply that not only do the directors not know, but the lions themselves are unsure. It would certainly deepen the tension between the two brothers.

From Nala's speech patterns and ideals I suspect she's Mufasa's daughter. There's a point in the movie where Simba tells her "You're beginning to sound like my father," to which she replies "Good, at least one of us does."

I'm gonna through in something else to further mutate your mind: in the Lion King broadway musical there's an extra plotline where Scar approaches Nala and asks her to become his mate (song title: The madness of King Scar) after which she leaves the Pridelands. Though it is in a different canon, it still contributes to the fact that The Lion King is the most messed-up disney story plotwise, flub wise, and continuity wise. That might be why I love it so much.

I must also add that there is another popular theory for those who shun lion-incest, and it is that Nala's father is a rogue lion. In Nala's story in "The Lion King: 6 New Adventures", she befriends a rogue lion named Ni, and he is a popular candidate for her parent as well as her little brother Mheetu, who also makes an appearance in the book, but is never mentioned in the movie.

PARADOX 2: CONTRADICTING SEQUELS (OR THE ELUSIVE KOPA)
This must surely have happened before: there are canonized books written as sequels to a movie, then new directors come on board for a real movie sequel and....don't read the books.
Hence the gender change of Prince Kopa.
We can STILL fix this little collaborative blunder by filling in gaps for ourselves.
In TLK: 6 New Adventures, Simba's cub (as depicted at the end of the first film) is his firstborn son, Kopa. He grows to be a little older than the cub Simba we see in the movie, and has a cute little story about him in the book series developing his character and canonizing his role in the fandom.

Suddenly, The Lion King II: Simba's Pride comes out on video, and Kopa is gone. Instead we see a brand new presentation sequence of Princess Ciara (set to the song "He Lives in You", from the Lion King broadway musical). As she becomes a young cub, we find that Simba is SUPER UBERLY PROTECTIVE over her.

There is no mention of Kopa, though we do find a clan of ex-pride rock lionesses who were banished to the outlands who have quite a bone to pick with Simba.

There are several theories to make the stars align. One is that Kopa just never existed and to dismiss his disappearance as an unfortunate flub, but not consider him canon. Another is to imagine that Kopa did indeed exist, but before Ciara was born something terrible happened to him to bring him away from the story. Several mini-theories about this are 1: Zira, the leader of the rebel lionesses, killed Kopa and was banished to the outlands as a result. 2: Zira's son Nuka found out about this plot and helped Kopa escape far away, causing the rift between Zira and Nuka, but Zira was still banished for her supposed treason and Kopa is considered dead by those who knew him (like Simba in the first movie).
Other theories exist too, but I am unfamiliar with them at this time. Many involve Kopa's love for Zira's daughter Vitani, and the pairing is popular in artwork and fanfiction.

Kopa's shocking death/supposed death is a huge supporter of just why Simba is SO overprotective over Ciara. He had his son, his stability for the future, ripped away from him suddenly, and knows just how easy it would be for the same thing to happen to his little daughter. She may not even know about her brother if he died before she was born. Since Kopa's disappearance can explain in this way many sections of the Lion King II's plot, I have adapted the 2nd theory as my personal conviction about Kopa's fate.

PARADOX 3: SPECIAL EFFECTS PRODUCE THE WRONG EFFECT
Once upon a time in Disney's animation studios, there was a bet. The special effects department dared the animation department to put the words "SFX" (special effects) in the movie somewhere. Well, they did. Simba collapses onto a rock after looking at the stars one night, and the dust/leaves he disturbs flies away in the air, spelling the words for a fraction of a second before flying away. Unfortunately, in that small moment most of America mistook the letter F in SFX to be an E.
When I was informed of the "perverted word in the lion king", I did some research and found out what it really was. But a lot of people didn't. So if your friend goes up to you one day and starts gaffawing about the word, don't hesitate to bust their bubble, yank their mind out of the gutter, and tell them the story behind it.

PARADOX 4: THE SHALLOW SIDE OF THE GENE POOL HAS DOMINANT GENES.
Scar is the lanky, bony, weak son of Ahadi (Ahadi is the name of Mufasa and Scar's father according to TLK:6 New Adventures). Scar makes a remark to Mufasa in the very first scene of the movie saying "I'm afraid i'm at the shallow end of the gene pool". It certainly appears to be true. But....if strong, hulky Mufasa inherited the dominant genes, how come his fur is golden, which depicts light pigmentation? True his mane is brown, but Scar's mane is...black. Black is the most dominant gene for color pigments you can get. How in the world did Scar inherit recessive genes if he has red-brown fur and a black mane, while Mufasa has golden fur with a brown mane? Scar should have been on the DOMINANT end of the gene pool. Mufasa's genes appear to be recessive, but even a lion with recessive genes can build up muscles with the right exercise. If Nala is Mufasa's daughter, that would explain her light fur and recessive blue eyes. Zira's cub Vitani (who is supposed by many to be Scar's cub, along with her older brother Nuka) has piercing yellow-brown eyes.

Scar was at one point rather fierce and agile (according to TLK:6N Adventures), for he battled a wildebeast at the watering hole when he was younger. In this incident, he got his scar, and was so shamed that he insisted everyone call him 'Scar' afterwards to remind him of his foolishness. In this way he thought things through more carefully, and became smarter, though he didn't fight or hunt and became physically lean. His real name used to be 'Taka', and I THINK it means 'poop' in Zulu or Swahili. No wonder he wanted it changed.

PARADOX 5: KOVU, KOVU, KOVU!
After the huge paradox concerning Nala's parentage, Disney decided they didn't want any more supposed incest with their lions. So when they introduced Princess Ciara's love interest, Zira's youngest son Kovu, they made a very strong point of mentioning to the audience at least twice that he WASN'T Scar's son. Because Ciara falling in love with her first cousin once removed was too close for comfort for the creative minds at disney, apparently. It is in common agreement among fans that Kovu's parents are Zira and a rogue lion. Who just happens to look a lot like Scar. Uh-huh. Yet they are also in common agreement that Zira's other two cubs (Nuka and Vitani) were fathered by Scar. After all, Zira is pretty much obsessed with Scar, and remains so looooong after Scar's death. Neither Nuka nor Vitani drops a hint of Kovu being their natural brother. So the question remains, if Scar had two cubs of his own with Zira, why did he choose Kovu as his heir? Perhaps even then Nuka showed signs of being unready, or maybe Rafiki prophesied that Kovu would be king one day (which ended up being true).

There are other people who think Zira's fling with Kovu's father was due to Scar hitting on Nala in "The Madness of King Scar" (broadway lion king), and she was jealous. Others don't think Nuka and Vitani were his children either, and Zira was just an obsessed Scar fangirl.

But in all logicality, Scar would have fathered all the cubs born under his reign (except possibly Nala, but that was because he thought she might be his anyway) so he would really be Kovu's father unless his loyal Zira was suddenly drawn away from the pride for some random reason and went after a rogue. Which Disney is insisting is true.

Well Disney, it's too late to save your tangled web of Lion King craziness, and you should reeeally know that by now. Sure i'll humor them and believe Kovu's father is a rogue, after all, one of Simba's friends in TLK:6N Adventures had the same coloring as Scar, and he is a popular candidate for the position of Kovu's father.

psst, even so....he'd be Mufasa's son too, which would make Kovu...Ciara's 2nd cousin.

TO SUM UP
Thank goodness the Lion King 1 and 1/2 didn't detract from canon much...they just added some relatives to Timon, turned the animal's reverence for baby Simba into a fainting fit from Pumbaa's smell, and made Simba the champion at snail slurping. And added Shenzi/Timon as a canon ship. All in all, I tend to ignore it, it's a lot of fun for flatulence-loving children though.

The play turned Rafiki into a girl to sing The Circle of Life, but besides the interesting entrance of Nala/Scar into the shipping world, it was pretty close with the regular lion king universe. And even if it wasn't, it wouldn't matter because it wouldn't be technically canon anyway cause it's it's own thing. Like the broadway "Mary Poppins" and "The Little Mermaid".

Along with the zaniness i've already presented, there are tons of fun facts about things that happened during production, and numerous funny flubs and goofs. Also a ton of hidden mickeys, including a huge Mickey constellation! The Lion King is a very stable, extensive, and complicated fandom that has existed for years, but not many people know about. I hope i've given you an idea of the basic knowledge of a Lion King fan, and I encourage you to check out devientart.com for pictures of Kopa, lion pairings, etc, and if you want you can google the information i've told you so you know the specifics.

Well, that's The Lion King, folks! Hope you enjoyed!

The Deep Waters of Disney Fandoms: Part I

2009-09-19T17:31:00.000-07:00

How often have we enjoyed something when we were younger, and, when we have grown out of it, somehow grow more still: back into it? When we have loved something as a child, that love stays festered inside of our soul until something stirs it out of its cuccoon, and it begs to revisit its old friend with whom it has enjoyed so many larks. The great C.S. Lewis once said "One day you will be old enough to start reading fairy tales again." How very true it is! I myself have experienced it over and over again, specifically these past few years.

When I was young, I watched, like many other children in America (whether they now like to admit it or not) Disney animated classics. And though I didn't know it then, those movies had depth enough to cradle all sorts of speculation, fanfiction, characters, and overall obsession if someone chose to devote himself to it. I did devote myself to it, and embarked on a journey of exploration: delving into the lore of movies like Beauty and the Beast, The Lion King, and, most recently, Bambi.

How else was I to discover the names of Bambi's twins? Or their love interests? How else could I solve the mystery of Nala's parentage? Scar's real name? His father's name? Or the translation of the African chant that plays as the sun goes up in the first scene of The Lion King? How else was I to find out the true name of The Beast, or puzzle as to how long he'd been enchanted, (if it was really 10 years, as Lumiere said, then the prince would have been 11 years old...and answering his own door during a thunderstorm...) Did you know Bambi head-butted a human boy who was about to shoot Bambi's son Geno? Or what about the elusive Kopa, son of Simba, who mysteriously disappeared from the story by the time his sister Kiara was born? Was Zira banished because she killed the king's son? Was Nuka shunned because he helped Kopa escape? And where did that "lovely bunch of coconuts" song that Zazu sings come from anyway?!

Such is the depth of the "children's movies" that we watched when we were younger. Intricate, delicate fandoms existing quietly and surviving by anonymity.

I recently read the book "Bambi's Children": a sequel to the book the beloved Disney film was based on. In it we see Bambi as the great Prince of the forest, gliding in and out of his children's lives like a protective shadow. We see Faline, still the carefree, silly young doe she used to be, trying to raise her twins with care, grace, and the maturity that does not come naturally to her. We watch Gurri grow from a rompting, careless child into a wise, pensive daughter to be proud of; one who has a bond with Bambi that is closer even than Bambi's bond with Geno, his son. We find Faline, Geno, and Gurri's struggle to maintain a friendship with the doe Rolla and her two fawns Boso and Lana, through betrayals, sacrifices, and harsh words. And through it all, Bambi shows himself an astoundingly iconic symbol of royalty, chivalry, and a protector over all: a true hero. A man kidnaps his daughter: Bambi tracks him to his house and helps Gurri escape. Hunters raid the forest: Bambi leads his whole family to safety. A wild wolf stalks the deer and tries to kill his son: Bambi confronts the wolf and leads him on a terrifying chase. Boso is shot and wounded: Bambi leads him to water and healing herbs, a scene that resembles greatly the old Prince his father leading Bambi to safety in the first book. And, most heroic of all, when Geno is about to get shot, Bambi attacks the one enemy the entire forest fears: He. And through this, he becomes a legend nigh impossible to live up to, in a story more full of adventure, characters, and thrills than the original. He is represented as the wisest, strongest, bravest, and most majestic deer in the forest. The king of Pride Rock has NOTHING on Bambi. Bambi is THE greatest Prince of the Forest that has ever lived.

You can tell I REALLY enjoyed this book and couldn't put it down, right?

I could talk about the Lion King....but that's so much more complicated and i'm running out of motivation. So consider this Part I of an ongoing series?

Back to cleaning...my muses will wait for another day.

2009-09-15T21:38:00.000-07:00

So today I had an opera rehearsal, and the lead soprano wasn't there. But we still needed to rehearse the song "Poor Wandering One", in which the ladies chorus sings background to 'Mabel''s lead vocals. And I ended up getting to sing it! The lead soprano's famous aria! And as if that wasn't enough, a girl came up to me after rehearsal was over and asked if I was a main role, because I sounded like I was. I believe the word to express my uttermost glee is "SQUEE!!!!"

So now i'm eating chocolate after informing Tim about the incident, which only adds to his jealousy because singing in Penzance is something he and his brother have dreamed of doing for years... I guess if would be like him singing in a production of Phantom of the Opera, lol!

I also had a meeting for my trip to Limoges, France a few days ago, and it promises to be very cool! Yet very cold (France in December, heh heh). Apparently the other members of the International Youth Orchestra are going to be from Germany, Russia, and possibly Japan, as well as some other smaller countries that I can't remember off the top of my head. It will be quite a treat to play at a real European conservatory with teens from other countries! I can't wait to get the music!

Of Avatar Costumes, Kittens, Hair, Demons, Opera, and The Lion King (& ADD)

2009-09-10T22:12:00.000-07:00

Well today I actually buckled down and finished my Katara costume for the Last Airbender movie that comes out no earlier than next summer...but at least now it's wearable (it needs some tweaking, but i'm gonna give it a few months and see if I can find my sewing machine.) I did all the sewing by hand, without patterns. Which can be noted as quite a feat for someone who's biggest sewing venture before this was a teeny pillow.

In recent news, my sister became suicidal and cut her wrists, and I had to clean up the blood and take care of her 6-week-old kitten while she recooperated. I think she's fine now. I think...I mean, she's on prescription. I would write a huge long heartwrenching post about how much she means to me, how everything horrible in the world happens to her while i'm happy as can be (well within reason, compared to her), how scarring it was to have to clean up that bloody bathtub and help her little kitten who had been locked in the bathroom overnight with that mess, but I really try not to think about it cause i'm afraid of what will happen if I let it get to me. It's so surreal that it's really easy to brush it off, play with the kitten, and pretend things are okay.

Well she fared better than her boyfriend, who suddenly felt sick to his stomach and then got tackled and pinned to the ground by an invisible force when my sister said "can we pray for you? Don't worry, it's not like we're going to exorcise you or anything."

For future reference, don't say that word aloud near the legion. It will upset them. Hm, is this something people normally blog about? This is turning into a pretty weird post, but hey, my life is far from normal...and if people think im lying that's their issue ,not mine, cause this is my blog so HA! Meheehee!! By the way, her bf went to the doctor and they said nothing was wrong except he had a slight cold. No concussion, thank goodness. Though when my sister told me this story, I did in fact laugh out loud. Because we both KNEW that room was a hangout spot for darkness, due to other instances that I won't relate here, and I had made it a point never to go down there alone at night.

Too much dark for one post, how about....OPERA REHEARSAL WAS LAST TUESDAY!!! Yay opera! We didn't do any singing, but it's nice to have a first meeting. I still have much aangst about not getting cast in a lead OR supporting role, but technically what am I complaining about? I'm 19 for crying out loud; by all accounts I shouldn't even be singing in my first opera yet! Instead i'm on my 7th. Yiperdooo! The production is going to be fun anyway. Cause i'll get to wear a frilly dress and sing the background chorus for "Modern Major-General" which in itself is AWESOME!

Oh, and I dyed my hair. Got two blond streaks in the front--Rogue-style from "X-men". Somehow my family didn't freak out...though they did have other things to worry about (my sis's drama), my poor courtier was a little scarred for life, but he did say the picture I sent to him looked rather fetching, so hakuna matata. Which by the way, is pronounced HAkuna MAtata, not HaKUNa MaTAta, like they do in the movies. How do I know this? I research The Lion King a little too much...it's quite an established, developed fandom, I should blog about the flubs and plots and stuff sometime. I was watching that movie today actually, with little Eponine (my sister's kitten). She actually was watching the tv screen...and twitching her ears when Scar spoke. She didn't see the wildebeast scene, thankfully. Much too graphic for a 6-week-old baby!

Well this had been random (mostly because it's 2 in the morning) so i'll bid you good morrow until next time.

2009-09-02T17:13:00.000-07:00

Today I made a button. Which is a big deal to me, cause I remember quite vividly not being able to make them a few years ago. Too much html voodoo magic for me. Then again, I also remember not being able to grasp scientific notation. Well, I learned how to do that today too. I also learned some Italian prepositions, Roman Briton history, what childlike attributes Jesus was specifying when he said that to enter the kingdom of heaven we must become like a child, and that when you smack yourself in the nose hard enough it indeed bleeds like in the movies. Oh, and how to play poker. Zing, i'm on a roll today! I even wrote 3 whole pages of Brightleaf yesterday and *le gasp* STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR at my sister's apartment.

Maybe I just finished the well-known CM sentence, "When children love to learn..."

Yet somehow I was in a bad mood all day. Hmmm....I think it was because my sister insulted my late start on Physics (she's a science major), though really she hasn't had remedial Physics either, so she shouldn't be one to quote a whole lesson on scientific notation, then when I tell her I just did the lesson today and completed 3 "on your own" problems, as well as numerous example problems, reply "Well aren't you the master" in a voice dripping sarcasm.

It made me cry. Not gonna lie. I might've overreacted cause of PMS or something, but really, she's the one with the apartment, laptop, knows how to drive, can see her boyfriend whenever she wants, GOING TO COLLEGE, and assertive enough to dial a phone without having a panic attack. Oh, and she's also getting her own cat. And apparently her own car. And it doesn't help that she's a year and a half younger than me and uberly smart. Smart enough to have her whole tuition covered with grant money left over to rent an apartment and buy a car with.

Well she can laugh at me deciding to do physics and school in general on my own and there's nothing I can do about that. Especially since she's going to earn a heapload of money as an astrophysicist and get a ph-d while I struggle as a starving artist. Unless I become a really GOOD opera singer. Then I can travel all over the world to play all sorts of different roles, taking my family with me and exposing my homeschooled kids to all sorts of wonderful art and history. Hm, good plan.

Epic belly flop into the nearest pool of LAME.

2009-08-26T17:04:00.000-07:00

So, with my CP financial aid doing an epic fail belly flop into the nearest pool of lame, and my admissions status at Furman still in a royal state of MIA limbo, I can safely assume tha I won't be getting any good old fashioned college education this semester. Unless something extraordinary happens somehow. But i'm planning for the worst to make it the best. For instance, i've started thinking of all those things college students always want to do, but are too busy with classes to actually accomplish. All summer long the ideas have been coming, but were dismissed as impossible. But ha indeed! Now they are more than plausable, and I will be entirely able to do them justice. Lets go down my list, shall we? Of course we will. Cause it's my blog and I say so.

1. Finish (or at least make progress on) my first novel. I've been working on "The Brightleaf Chronicles: The Force of Destiny" in serious succession for about a year and a half, though the idea and drabbles are about 7 years old. It would be nice to have time to write.

2. Start making those "Avatar: The Last Airbender" cosplaying costumes. If I go to school next semester (pshaw, I say 'if' when I mean WHEN), I will have no time to make them, and i'll be left frantically sewing next summer with a deadline that is too-close-for-comfort, especially considering I need to make about 3 or 4 different costumes: Katara, Prince Zuko, Iroh, and possibly Aang and Ty Lee. I've sort of started on Ty Lee's....mostly....but Katara's is the most important because that's the one i'm wearing, and I don't want to be left costumeless for the premiere! Even though half the fanbase is kinda boycotting the movie...but that's another story...I would like to find my sewing machine. It would help me out tremendously. I did find the sewing kit thank heavens, so I can at least sew by hand if it comes to that.

3. Help my mom make a 'Book of the Centuries'. She's been wanting to for years, but us kids were just never interested. Now i've decided to make it, and include our ancestors for each page. So the end result will be my little brother knowing the name of the ancestor who lived during the time of Joan of Arc. Pretty spiffy...

4. Start scrapbooking! I've always wanted to, and I may not get another chance. I'd like to scrapbook at least this summer, and my childhood years too. I'm obsessed with pictures and little memento doodads anyway...

5. Get my driver's license. So I can actually go to my friends' houses and to my classes and will feel less depended on the ever-changing whims of my mom and her driving.

6. Re-pad my flute and learn to play it.

7. Continue painting.

8. Read "The Hunchback of Notre-Dame", at least one Dickens novel, finish "Tom Jones", and at least the New Testament of the bible.

9. Write 10 sonnets.

10. Sing in "The Pirates of Penzance" and take private voice lessons.

11. Play violin on the street and at the Renaissance Festival and raise money for my trip to France this December.

12. Start teaching music and composer study at the Charlotte Mason Community Co-op and help my brothers with their schooling, ultimately refreshing my memory on the basic subjects so I feel like i'm learning something.

So yes, those are basically the 12 things i'll be trying to accomplish this coming semester, and dearly hope I succeed in one of them. If I do these things, i'll feel productive instead of feeling like a lazy slothmumster AND i'll have a good time. I'll still be busy packing stuff up and cleaning the house to show, as well as unpacking when we move into whatever new house we end up with too. But other than that, I won't be floating around aimlessly looking at all my friends' facebook statuses about their college life.

So, off to write sonnets or plan costumes....one of the two.

The Renaissance Festival

2009-08-22T16:08:00.000-07:00

Well I just got back from my first Renaissance Festival workshop, and it looks like this fall will be fun fun fun! Everyone was loud and super overly friendly (to the point where I felt a bit intimidated and nearly wanted to retreat into my shell). We had a vocal warm-up and learned some wayfaring folk songs, then discussed basic character interaction and development. All I have so far is that my character is a gypsy who plays violin. I haven't come up with a name yet because I want a rather good one. I thought I might rev up my Pirates of the Caribbean cosplaying character Wild Ivy a bit, and change her from a Tortuga wench into an orphan beggar with naught but a fiddle to earn her way. I don't even know if they had female goliards back then, though I know noblewomen were female troubadours...
I had the thought "The stealthy and subtle/ Izagarde Tuttle" but that sounds more like a pickpocket, and not a street musician. My character is going to be a brash, bragging peasant girl who thinks herself above her company most of the time, and is convinced that she's attracted the eye of some nobleman or Lord. Of course, no one will believe her until he actually shows up. I'll need Tim's help with that part, though.

I still need to bash about some ideas, but it promises to be a rather fun treat. A whole renaissance village...and i'm finally a part of it!

It's Been a Long Road

2009-08-21T14:53:00.000-07:00

I just realized i'm about to audition for my seventh opera. It's been a long road, yet it seems like only yesterday I donned my choirboy cap and performed with St. Peter's Boys and Girls Choirs (now called "The Choir School at St. Peters) in Puccini's "Tosca" back in 2004. I remember hearing that only the boys' choir was doing it, and feeling so incredibly jealous. But as fate would have it, there were only 10 boys participating, and the opera needed about 20. So they ended up letting us girls join in and put wigs on us. I remember meeting the prima donna and hearing her tell stories about singing with Domingo and Pavarotti. I recall the fearful thrill when villain Scarpia swooped by me with his black cape, and the exhilaration I felt as the entire chorus sang the finale of Act I, and the curtain went down with the brass blowing out the final chord.

I knew that wouldn't be my last opera, but I never imagined getting to sing in so many more before heading to a conservatory where people are supposed to learn how to do it. Thank goodness for CPCC and their glorious opera theater. After performing in "The Pearl Fishers" with Opera Carolina (and having the time of my life, let me add!) I sang with CPCC for four different operas. My first full fledged chorus role was in "The Marriage of Figaro", where I was the youngest member of the chorus at 16. The next opera, "La Bohéme", is perhaps the one closest to my heart. The story was the very first opera story that I ever learned. I actually missed the auditions, but the director let me into the chorus because they needed more sopranos (and because I begged profusely). I ended up recruiting my 10-year-old brother and my dad as non-singing roles, as well as my then 1-year-old poodle puppy, Cosette. She played the dog of Musetta, one of the leads. So my dog got listed in the main cast, while I was still listed in the ensemble. Anyway...next was "The Tales of Hoffman", where I recruited my sister into the chorus, and my other brother in a non-singing role. That show got an amazing review, and had all sorts of elaborate sets and stage magic, like a real gondola that floated onto the stage during the bacarolle. And though I was in the chorus, my character still got a name. The man who escorted me in all the scenes I was in actually had a solo role in the prologue where he referred to his love, "Fausta". Mr. Hoffman then laughs and calls her a slut. Thanks a lot, Hoffman...
After The Tales of Hoffman came a concert version of "Un Ballo In Maschera", which was my very first Verdi opera. The ending was so beautiful and dramatic, full of chromatic scales and minor chords...I didn't get a costume, but I got to make my own mask. So yay.

Now i'm getting ready to audition for Gilbert and Sullivan's "Pirates of Penzance". After six chorus roles, I can't help but want a lead. I hope for it, though I don't really expect it. It would be a dream to play Mabel. As it stands, even if I get a chorus role again, i'll get to sing the chorus parts for "Modern Major General" which is totally worth it. As well as "How Beautifully Blue the Sky" which is the closest thing to a patter-song for a female chorus that i've heard...
I need to figure out what to sing for the auditions this coming Tuesday and Thursday.

It's been an incredible experience to sing in all these operas at such a young age. Opera is so very close to my heart, almost like it's inside me somewhere. I find myself struggling not to cry just from all the fond memories and the idea of opera. Besides waking such an emotional response in me, it's also the one thing I consider myself good at. I haven't met anyone my age or size who can sing like me yet. Those that can are usually more interested in musical theater, it seems. This gives me the courage to pursue opera professionally to the point where I can tackle a lead role someday, even if that day isn't as close as I hope.

Well, back to packing. My family is moving soon, and we need to get the house in a condition to show.

In.San.It.Y.

2009-08-18T14:34:00.000-07:00

Whenever I try to hang with 'normal' people, it typically doesn't work out. I saw a movie with my sister and her friends yesterday. It was called "District 9", and it was rated R. The main character and supporting cast knew only one word in the English language, and it began with the letter F. Also i'm not really a fan of exploding humans with guts flying everywhere...so I didn't have as good a time as I would have liked. The only joy I found was in eating from the tray of 6 cinnamon rolls that my sister and I smuggled into the theater. Afterwards, I simply stated that I would have enjoyed the movie more if it wasn't geared to a target audience of which I wasn't a part of, and for some reason my sister's boyfriend decided that he wasn't a target audience and my sister decided that I was somehow 'wrong'. Like the script wasn't written and solicited with a specific target audience in mind like ever single other movie script is? I mean maybe they felt like their individuality was being offended by being part of a target audience, but their arguments were truly ridiculous. They said it was rated R because the filmmakers wanted the freedom to do what they pleased with the story. The story had nothing to do with it, it was the script itself that added a million F bombs to give it the rating in the first place. And the violence obviously appealed to the young adult guys of this generation who have already been desensitized to it. Come on people, think! Listen to the girl who's taking 4 film classes and was raised by a tv producer, I know how the industry works!

But apparently they excused my contrary opinion for 'ignorance', like every other person in the world does, and I spent most of the time at Steak and Shake with my phone to my ear, pretending my courtier was on the other end listening to me. I needed to feel like SOMEONE cared about my opinion. Le sigh. My sister is just crazy. She wanted to move into an apartment with her boyfriend, but when my parents wouldn't let her, she decided to get a guy roommate instead (one of her bf's friends). In.San.It.Y. They still won't let her, but for some reason she thinks that once she turns 18 she can do what she wants. And um, hate to break it to you sis, but i'm 19 going on 20, and if I decided to do half the stuff you wanna do, my parents would indeed stop me. Hate to burst your adolescent bubble, but there it is...

Last night I fell asleep for 13 hours and dreamed about Tim. Which was probably why I didn't wake up until 3 in the afternoon. My dream was pretty awesome. Most of it involved LOTR and pirates. I was Eowyn, and Gandalf was dying, even though he said he was only as young as I was. He came into the world from the west as an old man though. I went on a huge LARPing journey through many dangers and booby traps with several other people, including my siblings and Tim's siblings. He couldn't go though, because he had college. But he was supportive of my quest anyhow. I ended up in a pirate ship with this final battle going on, but we lost and Gandalf started to finally fade away.....Then I got pulled out of the book, and the bookstore I was in closed so I could never go back and save him. I started to cry as the store employee/evil lackey ushered me out. I went home and it was August 28th, and I had written Tim a note for our 2 month anniversary, but I couldn't find him. I kept wandering around looking for him....then I awoke.

It ended weirdly, but I hope Gandalf didn't really die or anything....

When I woke up I went to the computer and found out that The Wonder Twins were heading to Smallville for the 9th season! And let me tell you, I positively adore the wonder twins and wrote a fanfiction years ago where Zan was my fictional boyfriend. They were supposed to get their own movie , but it didn't work out. I'm glad they're going to be on Smallville though! Let me just say, Smallville is my DC hero therapy. I turn it on and I can see Green Arrow, Aquaman, Black Canary, Martian Manhunter, The Flash, Zatanna, Cyborg, Supergirl, hey, even The Legion of Superheroes! It's like a dream come true. A live-action Justice League basically. Without Bats or Wonder Woman, but pretty much everyone else besides them. Okay maybe not GL either....but anyway, they just added Metallo to their lineup of villains. Previously Supes has battled Zod, Brainiac, Luthor, Livewire, Shadow Thief, and just recently got to get beaten up by Doomsday. I'm always surprised by who they pull from the DCverse, and it's amazing to see everyone brought to life!

Well I ended on a happy note again! What do you know?

Jumbled Rooms/Don't tell my Brothers

2009-08-16T16:00:00.000-07:00

My whole family is switching rooms, which means my sister and I moved into our brothers' rooms, our parents moved into the room us sisters were sharing, and the boys moved into our parent's old room. confusing, huh? So we ALL have new rooms now. Mine is completely very extremely purple. Except my pink dresser, which I basically got an asthma attack from after heaving it out of the dusty attic. So all yesterday and today my lungs kept feeling constricted when I inhaled which meant that I felt basically like a psammiad from E. Nesbit's fantasy stories, and by the way I think fantasy stories set in our world with G-d in it as well as some weird voodoo magic are more than slightly blasphemous but not so if it's a completely different universe cause it would be a complete fabrication. If it has G-d in it at all though, it ceases to be complete fantasy because some of it is indeed real. I was planning on making a huge long profound blog post on the dangers of fantasy and the blurred lines thereof, but i'm not mentally competent enough to do it right now. It will be forthcoming however.

So anyway, my room now has a purple fridge as a nightstand, a dollhouse in the corner, six dolls and a teddy bear in various places and disney movies on the bookshelf. My little brother said that people would think a 5-year-old lived in that room. Yet it would be a 5-year-old with a fridge, 3 different Les Miserables soundtracks, and 3 framed autographs (composer John Williams, Mark Hamill of Luke Skywalker and Joker fame, and Jodi Benson who voiced Ariel in The Little Mermaid.) Also there are three pictures on the top of the fridge of me and Tim dressed in Jane Austen cosplaying costumes...I don't know of any 5-year-old who would have those. I mean, unless Tim's little sister confiscated his copies. Hm and do I look like Lucy Pevensie in the picture? I glanced at it just now and my smile is very Narniany. Well I myself am a very Narniany person.

In church today they sang a song called "shout to the lord of hosts". I used to sing it when I was younger, and hadn't sung it for YEARS. Yet I still remembered it. It was nice.
After church we were SUPPOSED to go see the Shakepeare play "Julius Caesar", but my mom decided not to. :( I need to drive, cause people seriously don't want to take me places ever. Especially my sister. I always thought when she got her license the two of us could go bashing about the city doing all sorts of things. But she was only interested in hanging out with friends, not me or my other siblings. Le sigh. Ah well, time to talk about something uplifting. Like AdventureQuest. Yes, i've started playing MMORGs. Three, actually. "Kingdoms" on my itouch, "Castle Age" on facebook, and AdventureQuest on the corresponding site. It's actually pretty fun and addicting. I see why my brothers were obsessed with it. But shhhhh don't tell cause i made fun of them for playing it...

bangs head against the wall

2009-08-14T13:00:00.000-07:00

So I pulled out my barbie dolls today right as my sister and her friend walzed in for a sleepover. My sister grabbed my two prized Ken dolls and said "they're so sweet!" And then made them kiss each other.

I'm sorry, I consider myself pretty tolerant, but I have a limit. My Ken dolls are not gay. My friends may have turned gay, and Charlotte may be just about the biggest splotch of blue in the south, but I would appreciate people leaving my barbie dolls alone. They seriously began planning an epic gay romance with my toys, and then looked at me as if I would be the most intolerant homophobe on earth if I had a problem with it.

That's what makes me mad, that they act like if i'm uncomfortable it makes ME a horrible person and that the world should not only be tolerant but that they should just bow down and worship their worldview and if they don't then they're just IGNORANT or INTOLERANT or HOMOPHOBIC. Which by the way, is a sickeningly insulting term making the user of the word feel in the right. Think about it. Racist, Sexist, and...homophobic? Like i'm scared of gay people or something? If they're gonna call me a name cause I feel weird about someone making my Ken dolls gay, why can't they call me a homist? They don't call racists 'race-aphobes." Know why? Cause it sounds offensive!

Btw, I also resent the term 'Muggle' with a heartfelt flaming passion. I don't do the series, and if I don't want to ever read the HP books in a zillion years, i'm not gonna stand to be labeled by the fandom with an offensive word made up by the series. Human, folks. HU-MAN. HUMAN!!!!! WHO HAPPENS TO NOT LIKE HARRY POTTER!!! Yes, people like that exist!!! And they are NOT MUGGLES!!!! *pants*

So, in other news, the day before I was going to leave for college, my parents began frantically trying to convince me not to go. My mom contacted the music department head from Furman University and she's bulldozing through my admissions forms today. I wouldn't have caved, but my dad nonchalantly blurted out that we did not have enough money for Montreat, and if I went there for two measly years I would not only earn a useless degree from a not-especially-reputed school, but that he wouldn't be able to pay for my wedding. At all. And that when I did get married in a cheap motel I would have a heapload of debt from college loans.

So yeah that's pretty much it, and for some reason my mom has it through her head that Furman will offer me a huge amount of financial aid which they'd better because really, their college costs 44k a year. A lot more than Montreat. I sure hope they know what they're doing.

I mean if I don't get admitted it isn't the end of the world, i'll just keep taking voice lessons at CP and audition for Pirates of Penzance and HOPEFULLY get a lead *cough* Mabel *cough* play violin uptown and perform with the Renaissance Festival on weekends. Plus going to France to play in an International Youth Orchestra in December. And take a zillion trips to see Tim all the time cause I made my parents promise to take me to see him if I stayed home. Oh, and my mom said she'd give me 4,500 bucks out of the money we get for selling our house.

Bribery. I had my bags packed, my roommate contacted, my classes chosen, was going to move in the next day, and I got bribed out of college. Or at least, the one I was going to go to.

Well this turned out to be a blog rant, so i'll end by saying ZUTARA ROCKS!!! And also Elrond.
Yay.

And I got to hang Peter Rabbit pictures on my wall again and pull my pink dresser out of the attic and now I have a fridge in my room. And a playmobil dollhouse. <3 I love playmobil....

Summing up Summer

2009-08-08T11:55:00.000-07:00

So, i's been an eventful 5 weeks of not writing any new blog entries, and i'm falling waaaaay behind...but a lot has happened and i've been pretty busy.

I sort of graduated high school this year. Meaning I made myself a paper graduation hat with a tassel on it and got a cake and some cards. No diploma or gown...but I did make myself a pretty spiffy slideshow. This summer has been spent completing forms and stuff for Montreat College. And since they're accepting my transfer credits from my dual enrollment at CPCC, it means i'll actually be going in as a Junior instead of a Freshman. Growing up I was so used to the years 2008 and 2012 as my graduation years. Apparently, now it's 2009 and 2011. Maybe if tuition wasn't so expensive I could mozy along and finish in '12 anyway. But my competitive spirit doesn't want me to do that.

Apart from the crazy college stuff, i've been involved in a more personal adventure that i've seriously been waiting for my whole life. Falling in love. Yeppers, it finally happened, and it's awesome!!! Complete with shooting stars, rainbows, ballroom dances, carving initials into trees, full moons, prophecies, shakespeare, swan lake, toadstool villages, and regency ascots! I never could have imagined a romance like this. I have truly been blessed. Perhaps if I felt less I could tell you more, like Mr. Knightley in Jane Austen's "Emma". As it is, i'll let you wonder how I ended up lucky enough to get rainbows, shooting stars, and toadstool villages in my love story.

In the fandom world things have been happening too. shooting FINALLY began on Voyage of the Dawn Treader, work is progressing on the Spiderman 4 script, The Last Airbender released their teaser trailer and promotional pics, and I decided to finally look up how cosplayers make their own costumes so I could go to the midnight premiere of TLA dressed as Katara. Of course i'd be making my courtier go as Zuko. He has the season 3 hair for it.

I've been writing more Brightleaf Chronicles. I've reached 131 pages, and i'm apprehensive about how much time i'll have to write in college. I'm also trying to catch up with the new Redwall books i've been conveniently ignoring for the past 4 or 5 years. I read Rakkenty Tam early on this summer, and it ROCKED! My love for Redwall was restored, and I couldn't believe I had left it for so long! I'm reading High Rhulain now, and just got Eulalia too. Haven't gotten Doomwyte yet, but I have time.

Well, back to packing for Montreat. I have less than a week before orientation, and the college is being annoying about offering me the courses I need in the right years and semesters. Nevertheless, my future doesn't look so bad. Oh, and I learned how to paint. I bought oil paints a few weeks ago and painted. It didn't look as awful as i'd anticipated, thankfully. Now I am officially a combo of all 4 March sisters. Officially. I'm a conservative oldest sister like Meg, i'm a clumsy, imaginative writer like Jo, i'm a shy, sensitive pianist like Beth, and a romantic painter like Amy. Funny how that ended up.

Childlight USA CM Conference's Teen Programs

2009-06-15T14:41:00.000-07:00

I just got back from the 4th Annual Childlight USA Charlotte Mason Conference, and had an absolutely wonderful time! This year was the very first year to include teen programming (put together by yours truly and my friend Tim, who is far less-scatterbrained and more leaderful) and us teens had probably more fun than the adults did! We had a Jane Austen Tea, acted out Shakespeare, read Sherlock Holmes and Edger Allan Poe late at night, took a stroll down a nature trail, had a LOTR discussion with a college professor on the theater stage, played The Beatles Monopoly and swapped stories late into the night, and had a Regency Ball.

On the first day, Tim and I (who were supposed to be performing a concert for the adults) suddenly found ourselves without a piano, and thrust onto stage with nothing to do. He is naturally calm and composed, and I was, very surprisingly, not really nervous, just a little awkward. We sang Amazing Grace together and then I sang an opera aria. That night we had a fireside chat for the teens which had such varying subjects as Pride and Prejudice, the end of the world, Narnia, Lord of the Rings, Star Trek, trees, and politics. And as every Austen reader knows, "From politics it is an easy step to silence." Thus silenced, we headed back to the apartment and six of us played The Beatles Monopoly. I proceeded to land myself in jail in every possible manner, from drawing jail cards to landing on the space and rolling doubles too many times. When me and my friend Brittani FINALLY went to bed, we had such a fun time and giggled in our room so loudly that I am told the gentlemen in the living area could hear us!

The next morning, we all sat in on the "Teaching Charlotte Mason Teens" lecture given by a panel of educators who had taught teens. Tim and I were also included in the panel to talk about our experiences. I found myself slouching far too much, but I was rather good with words that morning considering how late we had stayed up. After the lecture and Q and A session was over, Tim, Brittani and I moved the chairs and tables in the classroom back to where they had been before the talk took place, then ate lunch in the Dining Hall next to the cafeteria. We had a rather interesting discussion about how David's orange was a metaphor for Christ...Tim and I tend to take his random subjects and elaborate on them seriously for our own amusement.

The Jane Austen Tea was next. The coffeehouse across the street had agreed to host us, and Childlight generously paid for us all to have a drink (and a pastry if we so desired). I was astounded at how many teens were there. And intrigued by the fact that most of them were guys. Besides myself, there were only two other girls. We had six guys! It was a singular experience to see how they read the books and interpreted things. I found out that they compare Austen's heroines just as often as we girls chat about our Darcys and Ferrers. We discussed different movie adaptations, which characters we thought we were most like, and delved into how Jane Austen matched each hero and heroine perfectly, and the subtleties of each story. It was a special treat, because it is not every day that one meets so many people your own age who have read Jane Austen.

It started to rain later on, and we stood on the balcony of our apartment watching the waves of spray wash over the parking lot. Geese were pecking about for worms, and I started mimicking their honking. They were confused for a while, then began to ignore it. We then discussed the end of the world again, and whether or not it would come sooner rather than later, and whether the rapture would happen before anything horrific took place. Also whether or not it was possible to carry on a Jane Austen romance in the time that was allotted us, and whether Jane Austen ever thought of the end of the world (we don't think she did). That lead to wondering what she would think of our current times, and whether she'd sit on a bench in a mall laughing at the styles of people walking past, or whether she would be scathed at the lack of propriety we display. Both, I imagine.

Later that afternoon, I walked with Jesse and Brittani to the "Snack Shop" across the street, and we had ice cream cones. It reminded me of a 50s diner. It wasn't decorated like one or publicized as one, it looked like it had actually BEEN one in the 50s. We had a wonderful time, and resolved to go there again the next year.

That evening we had a discussion on the book "Leaf By Niggle", which is one of Tolkien's lesser-known works. It was given by Theater Professor Chris Keene, who showed up to the library in a real kilt! We had a mix of half teens and half adults for that chat, and had a really good talk.

Afterwards, four of us teens decided to take a moonlit walk around the beautiful campus lake. The geese were all asleep on the water, and the frogs were about and croaking. Tim found one on the path, and I caught it. I gave it a kiss (just in case, for one never knows...), and set it free again. We walked on, and I looked up and saw the clear sky filled with stars! In the city where I live, we can't see the stars, and our nights are always cloudy. But here in the country, the sky was bursting with them! I pointed out the big dipper, and we all gazed up in excitement. When we had walked halfway around the lake, we came to a small wooden pavilion near the edge of the woods. The Laurio boys whipped out their flashlights and we started exploring it. There were spiderwebs on nearly every side--beautiful full ones with huge brown bodies that sat in the middle of their webs. Each leg rested on a different thread that led downwards. Jesse told us that spiders rest their legs like that so that when an insect lands in the web, it feels the vibrations and knows exactly where the insect landed. I hadn't heard that before, and found it quite fascinating. We stayed in the pavilion awhile, talking about campouts, nightcreatures, and unexplained happenings that each had witnessed. When things started getting a little too uncomfortable and frightening, we wisely left and continued our walk. Tim and I spoke in British accents and discussed different trees with faces on them, and whether or not they were akin, etc. Then we went inside, broke out the Sparkling White Grape Juice, chocolate, and popcorn, and watched "The Hunt for Gollum", which is a very well-made independent film about a portion of Lord of the Rings that wasn't in the movie. We watched it on Tim's laptop, with all of the lights out, and it gave it nearly a movie theater effect.

That morning, Tim and I woke up early to lead Matins (or, the morning prayer service)
Brittani was going to wake up too, and Jesse was as well, but they both fell back asleep, so Tim and I packed our keyboard and violin in the car, and went down to the auditorium. We played 'Adagio' from Swan Lake to open the morning, then he read St. Patrick's Breastplate, and he sang "Come Thou Fount" while I accompanied on violin. As we were packing the car again, we saw a house wren chasing a squirrel! It was swooping down and pecking at its tail! (We did quite a lot of nature study that week! )We then went back to the apartment to have breakfast, while consisted of cereal and a very tasty apple.

It was then time for our Shakespeare Scenes. Those of us who were awake read "Pyramus and Thisby" from "A Midsummer Night's Dream". It is arguably the funniest Shakespeare scene he ever wrote. We read it assigning character parts. Kaley read the prologue and was the Moon and Lion, David was the Wall, I was Pyramus, and Tim was Thisby. We had so much fun reading it that we put on a performance for my mom in her apartment. She loved it, and wanted us to perform it for everyone, but as I was playing the guy and Tim was playing the girl, we decided for the sake of our reputations to withdraw from such an action.

We stayed in the room and talked for a long while, then went to the Lord of the Rings discussion. EVERYONE showed up for that. Before we headed over to the stage, we made a stop at Professor Keene's office. It was stuffed full of Lord of the Rings merchandise, posters, pictures, and some set pieces and show props! He incorporated some other fandoms too, I saw a poster of the Enterprise D and a bobble head of Nightcrawler from X-Men. When we sat down, we had 12 people sitting on the theater stage in chairs and an old couch, discussing our favorite characters, our favorite parts, books v.s. the movies, and generally everything that we could think of! After that Professor Keene showed us the art and sculpture gallery, and the room where he designs prosthetics! He had a genuinely gruesome back-prosthetic for a play about the crucifixion, and some goblin face molds, and some enormous masks he had made for a recent play.

After that, we went to the O. Max Gardner hall to teach the Regency Dance class for the ball. Tim and I had learned five dances and had practiced beforehand...now it was time to test our teaching skills. I found myself to be surprisingly authoritative, though I couldn't refer to 'left foot' and 'right foot' because I have horrible dyslexia and couldn't trust myself to say the right thing. So when I was hard to understand, Tim jumped in and explained it better, and we gave examples. We had 6 couples, which was more than I expected (and the number of gentlemen equaled the number of ladies!) After an hour, we had taught two dances: a promenade I had put together, and 'Mr. Beveridge's Maggot' (the dance that Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy do in the A&E Pride and Prejudice). In doing so, we fulfilled many a girl's dream to dance like Elizabeth Bennet. Or at least, mine.

We had about 30 minutes to prepare for the ball. Most of that time I spend curling my unruly hair into ringlets and trying to pin a bun in my hair while not damaging the ringlets in the process. I put on a purple, fake-velvet dress that wasn't exactly regency, but more medieval (it did look tolerable because of my hairstyle), and the boys put on suits and ties, and we headed back to the hall for the Regency Ball. Tim had worked his magic and somehow got the music for the dance off of the video on youtube and put it in windows moviemaker, then deleted the video so only certain audio remained. He brought his labtop to the dance, and before we started, he calmly pulled out a tiny remote from under his coat, and started the music. It was very like James Bond, we thought. Before the ball really went underway, we took some pictures. It reminded me of the experience of 'Prom' that public schooled high schoolers have their senior year. I had seen my sister dress up like a glamor girl for her prom, and seen her take pictures with her boyfriend, and imagined (like Cinderella in her kitchen) what it must have been like. It was Brittani's senior year too, and she had never had a prom either. I imagine a lot of Charlotte Mason teens don't. That's probably a good thing, but the importance the culture attaches to it was felt even in our separation from the culture. That is why the ball was so important to me. For that one night, I got to dance real dances with real gentlemen, and feel like the princess all girls read about when they're growing up. We had so much fun at that ball that it has been absolutely decided to make it an annual event.

The ball went a little later than planned, but we still decided to walk down the nature trail afterwards. I'm very glad we did! I wore my dress still, I felt very comfortable in it and it would not have been the first time I had worn it to a greenway. The view of the river and the greenery surrounding us was so beautiful and wild, and it served a creative inspiration. Tim and I discussed filming an Austen novel there, and proceeded to plan our alternate version of Northanger Abbey most of the time. The other boys explored some interesting trees and rocks, and we leaned across bridges and gazed at the streams below. It grew to be dusk, but Jesse had his ever-faithful flashlight to guide us. When we got to the front of the trail, an astronomer had set up his telescope by the entrance and was showing people the heavens through it. I again saw the Big Dipper, and through the telescope I saw two stars that were so close together that without the keen eye of the telescope they looked like one big, bright star. The astronomer explained that they were probably formed from the same space dust, and had a gravitational pull so strong that they orbited around each other!

That night we read Sherlock Holmes at the apartment. I read the narration and the part of Watson, while Tim followed along in his book and voiced Sherlock Holmes. We did the "Adventure of the Speckled Band", one that was usually suspenseful. After that we read Edgar Allen Poe, and when we were done, we all talked (there were 9 of us) about our different CM experiences, how hard it was watching our public schooled friends change when they reached high school, and how wonderful it was to be with people who could read Sherlock Holmes with us and laugh at the humor that our neighbors wouldn't get. We stayed up very late that night because we had no programs planned for the next morning, just hanging out with the new friends we had made and having fun!

Tim and I performed 'Swan Lake' again for those that had missed it, and then headed over to the Ice Cream Parlor for a last minute get-together before we all had to go home. There were six of us there, and our parents. We took pictures, talked, laughed, ingested sweets, swapped plans for thanksgivings and summer vacations and new years eves where we could possibly cheat and get together again, and then said our goodbyes.

We usually have 3 or 4 teens each year, but this year we actually had 10! It was so uplifting and downright fun to find so many like-minded people my own age there. I laughed harder and longer than I had for a long time. It's something special when you meet people that you click with in an hour. Sometimes when we're by ourselves surrounded by teens who go to a public high school it can be hard to find good friends who are so much like you. This conference I has been the highlight of my year, and some other teens said the same. I have so many plans for next year, and can hardly wait to see my friends again!

Cleaning and Packing

2009-05-23T11:00:00.000-07:00

It's saturday, and instead of hanging with friends or playing violin at the festival uptown or cleaning up the house or doing ANYTHING remotely productive such as eating or even charging my dead ipod touch, I ended up here. Why? Idk, i'm a procrastinator, and worked way too hard yesterday and stayed up too late and now i'm crashing. So, now that i'm on my blog where I can say whatever I like about anything I want, my mind immediately goes blank and I find myself yearning for a game of solitaire, or for facebook updates or something. People always update, but never about things that concern me. So I periodically write randomness on people's walls so they are socially required to write back even if they don't particularly care about whatever I was randomly writing to them about. Anyway...

So yes, I was cleaning my house yesterday and packing boxes and dusting things off. Which was hard, for I am quite allergic to dust. It makes my nose run and makes me sneeze. So at any rate, bascially what happened was that me and my sister graduated at the same time (no we aren't twins, she's just smart and did two grades in one year when she was little and now she's at my grade level and is graduating at the same time), and college is expensive, right? and we're living in a recession. Unless you live in China maybe. Well, in America, we're in a recession, and college is expensive. And my dad has a great well-paying job as a television producer (pretty cool job and i'm very proud of him), but my mom doesn't work, and stays home homeschooling us four kids. So, four kids on one income with a house which is kinda hard to afford means we have to sell the house to get me to college. I want to go to a school where out of state tuition is pretty high, and coupled with a dorm room and meal plan, that needs a lot of money. 30,000 dollars for this year. The house right now is kinda messy, as 4 kids live in it who don't really pick up after themselves. At all. So finally, I decided that hey, if I didn't start picking up after them and packing things up to show the house, no one else would do it and i'd end up at my local community college this fall. Oh yes, my mom would normally be a big help in the cleaning/packing category, but she just began taking some medication that makes her feel exhausted all day, and she won't be able to really help until a week or two from now.
So yesterday, I cleaned a lot and took down my LOTR framed pictures and Disney pictures and knick-knacks all over my room and it looks kind of bare now and sad. :(

K, now my mom is asking me to do laundry and put away the groceries. So, more work, le sigh.

Yours,

Self-proclaimed Cinderella (sort of)

Youth Lock-In or lonely night at home? Hmm...home.

2009-04-25T13:58:00.000-07:00

Last night was the Lock-In for my church youth group. I didn't go. My other 3 siblings went, but I stayed home, basically because they all had an activity to go to beforehand that I wasn't a part of, and were traveling straight to the church after that, and also...I don't have any friends there, so I would only be sitting in a corner watching Disney movies by myself all night. I could do that at home. So I tidied my room (that I share with my sister, yep, two seniors in high school sharing a room, horrible idea, but it's such a cool room that it would be madness to give it to just one of us), pulled out my stash of "Ultimate Butter" popcorn, made myself a huge bowl of Edy's ice cream (with hot fudge AND whipped cream) and plopped down on my windowseat to watch Fantasia 2000 for the first time since I saw it in theaters 9 years ago.

It was beautiful. I was so afraid the CGI flying whales would look lame since they were made so long ago, but they weren't. They were...glorious. As was the Noah's Ark segment and the Firebird. And whoever worked on the backdrops and scenery for that movie sure knew what they were doing. I've heard Stravinsky's "Berceuse and Finale" over and over, and played the violin part it in two different youth orchestras, but i'd never seen a visual interpretation of the Finale that brought such tears to my eyes. It was nearly heartbreaking to see such beautiful and masterful animation that so many people worked so hard on. Compared to nowadays, where 2D animation is such a rarity, and companies crank out crappy CGI films with star voice actors over a period of 5 or 6 months (instead of 3 years). With the notable exception of Pixar films, of course, and some Sony Animation films. I literally cried when Disney discontinued their 2D animation studios, incorporating the artists into character design jobs for their CGI films. We're nearing the end of 2D animation, I doubt Disney has any plans to continue it after their "Princess and the Frog" movie. The one diamond in the rough is Warner Bros. animation studios. The same people who brought us "Batman: The Animated Series", "Batman Beyond", "The New Adventures of Superman", and "The Justice League" are still working hard on new animated superhero movies like their recent "Wonder Woman" film (gosh, that was good. Great script, great animation) and upcoming "Green Lantern" flick.

After Fantasia 2000, I popped "Treasure Planet" into the VCR (yes, I still use one. It's handy to have, since VHS tapes are 1 or 2 bucks at Goodwill and i'm finally collecting those poofy covered Disney classics collection). Treasure Planet is such a good movie, and I didn't appreciate it when it first came out. I was sore because I saw the fact that it was lovingly adapted from Treasure Island as a ripoff, and a legal copywright infringement of classic literature. Of course, now that i'm old enough to appreciate the wonderful script, the character development between Jim and Silver, the romance between Captain Amelia and Dr. Doppler, the shoutouts to classic moments in Treasure Island, the beautiful, haunting score by James Newton Howard, and the epic backgrounds and animation, i've moved it from the list of movies I shun, to one of my favorite movies of all time. It helps that i'm older than Jim Hawkins now, and i'm not as upset that he's a teenager. Also, a few years ago I became a little more OBSESSED with the whole Treasure Island universe than I should be, delighting in such things as the fact that Squire Trelawney (the character I played in a school play of Treasure Island) carries parmesian cheese (my favorite topping for my favorite food: pasta) in his snuff box. Joy.

Anyway, I think I had a better time watching those two movies by myself than going to a Lock-In with my siblings to spend a whole night with boys I...well...didn't necessarily have ANYTHING in common with and who never talked to me anyway. FYI my sister and I are the only girls in our youth group. Well, there are some middle schoolers and some 10 year olds, but come on people youth group should not have an age range of 10-19 ! That's insane! There are things older teens need to have addressed, that little kids haven't even been told about yet! So, to sum up, Treasure Planet ROCKS. And my youth group doesn't. That is all. XD

BATMAAAN!!!!

2009-04-21T13:17:00.000-07:00

Muahaha. Okay, so yesterday I watched the 90s animated movie "Batman: Mask of the Phantasm". Wow....it was pretty awesome. One of the awesomeness was watching the general stupidity of the characters, like seeing a gang drive in the lane next to a police car, or in seeing Batman stand right next to the tombstone that says "Wayne" on it (yeah, like BEEP BEEP HERE'S A HINT WHO BATMAN IS!) and of course the girl figured it out cause she isn't dumb (well, actually, she had a choice to save Bats or the Joker in the last scene and she randomly poofs away with the Joker so wow....)

On the note of the Joker....cause you know he was the Joker, and also the Mark Hamill Joker, who is my favorite....so I can't just ignore him cause he was my favorite part of the movie. So here's this Joker who makes me laugh and sometimes even doubt his insanity cause he portrays himself as an honest to goodness human being with feelings sometimes....then suddenly without warning, BAM!!!! There goes the laughing gas and the whole building starts to explode. And then I get that creepy feeling, the one the Joker gives people. That sick, wrong, demented feeling that he led you on even though you KNEW he was crazy, but you let him do it anyway because in the moments where he grabs the salami to hit you with instead of the sharp knife sitting next to it, you completely let your guard down, underestimate him, and that's when he strikes, as if he planned it all along. That's what I missed in the new "The Dark Knight" film. Everyone's cuckoo about Heath Ledger's Joker portrayal in that movie, but really that guy was just a psychopathic murderer in a clown suite. You can always trust that he'll blow up the hospital or murder people or burn up his own money, but that's not the creepiness that the Joker represents. The Joker is wild, unpredictable, insane yes, but also suave, excitable, and perfectly human. So human, that you forget the insanity, and that makes his actions that much more terrifying. Plus that laugh... *shudder* if anyone's seen Batman Beyond: Return of the Joker, they know what i'm talking about, right? Only thing scarier is Batman's laugh in the episode "Mad Love".

I am such a fan of Mark Hamill's Joker that, when locked in lethal arguement with a girl about the flaws of the Dark Knight Joker, I finally sat down and wrote Mr. Hamill a letter saying how amazing his Joker was and that even though everyone's gushing about Heath, I still consider him the best.

Three months later, he sent me back an autographed picture. So yep, now I own Luke Skywalker's autograph, folks. As well as the REAL 'Joker'. ;D

So even though the movie didn't have Robin in it (gosh I love Robin. Yeah, I know the tights are a turnoff for most people and he's often portrayed as a pansy or an aangsty teenager, but dude Dick Grayson is just...my-my Buddy, okay? I just wanna give him a big hug, and watch him kick butt in his Nightwing suit. Yeah....) anyway, even though it didn't have Robin in it, or Barbara Gordon, I still loved it so much....totally worth the 5 bucks I paid for the DVD at Wallmart, lol!

By the way, the MUSIC!!!! Someone ordered a doomsday choir with an actual orchestra that sounded like a mix between Danny Elfman, Jason Hayes, and Hans Zimmer. Pretty epic....

Orchestra

2009-04-18T11:08:00.000-07:00

Well today I had an orchestra rehearsal at 10:00 in the morning. Saturday morning. Which is a big deal, cause normally we meet on Monday nights at 5:30. I guess our conductor (who's also my violin teacher) thought we needed the extra rehearsal. So, my mom zips through random marathon traffic, and I'm only 7 minutes late, then I can't find the room in time, but once I did, I saw that there were only 5 other violins in my section besides me that day. Normally we have 18. But today, we had 6. It was a nice rehearsal, and I feel better prepared since it was such a small sectional. After we rehearsed as a section, we went into the auditorium to rehearse with the whole orchestra. Which was, today, 4 cellos, 3 violas, 6 1st violins, and 10 2nd violins. The 2nd violins won the prize that day for having the most people, at half their normal number. It was a big change from the normal 80 member ensemble we usually are, but I liked it. Because I got to sit in 6th chair instead of 15th chair. It was high up, and made me feel special. XD

First Post

2009-04-13T20:18:00.000-07:00

Well, i've just created a blog for myself. It's past 11 at night, my sister has again stolen my bed and banished me from my room in general so she can talk on the phone into the wee hours of the night. She doesn't have school in the morning. I do. So instead of consigning myself to the couch, I first fiddle with my new ipod touch and get on the computer. I read a thread on enarda.proboards.com about blogs and blogger.com, and realize i've always meant to make a blog. I never got around to it. Well, now since I have nothing better to do than stay up late on a school night and waste time on the computer, I might as well do something useful. Something like, I don't know, create my very own blog. Which is, of course, what I did five minutes ago, before I wrote this message. I hope you find my random life amusing at least. I know that if no one else finds my blog amusing...I always will. I do a lot of things for my own amusement anyway, it's how I keep my life from becoming too boring. What I speak of, you will soon see....

Until then, I remain yours,

Burning Eyes But Too Much Pepsi To Go To Sleep Yet.